(Image: Thinkstock)

I’m never one to say I’m perfect. I mean, who is? But I definitely have an issue with patience in situations where I feel like a job is either not being done properly or quick enough for me.

I guess you could call it a control thing. Hey, we all have issues we’re working on.

In customer service situations, I’ve found myself ready to blow a gasket because the representative is not moving fast enough to resolve an issue or is telling me no for whatever reason. And, admittedly, I might not be so nice in my reaction to it.

Then there was that moment of clarity where I got CHECKED.

I was trying to settle an issue with a customer service rep at a phone company about my bill. The agent was very nice about explaining to me the situation and why the bill was the way it was. I’d done my own calculations and based my opposing argument on those, so I was quite annoyed that the customer service agent wasn’t in agreement with me. I asked for her supervisor, who told me the exact same thing she’d told me.

I made a big, frustrated fuss and spent half a day trying to defend my case. The supervisor even offered to add extra minutes to my bill because of the inconvenience but I was so upset I simply hung up the phone without a resolution.

A few days later, after calming down, I discovered I’d made a mistake and that the customer service rep was right all along. Not only was I embarrassed and had to bite the bullet in the end, I lost a lot of unnecessary time, money and energy simply because I did not respect that the customer service agent had been hired to do her job for a reason and that she knew what she was doing.

It’s always good to respect people in general, but even beyond that, it’s best to respect someone’s professional position and why they were hired for that particular job in the first place.

True, there are people out there who may have gotten positions they don’t deserve, aren’t qualified for or where they’re simply incompetent. But initial benefit of the doubt ensures one doesn’t make a fool of themselves and tarnish their own reputation because of situations that could have been avoided.

Take that Type-A coworker or boss. He might delegate a task, and instead of trusting the person delegated to get the job done properly, he decides to jump the gun and do it himself. He might not be as well-versed in handling the task as appropriately as the originally designated person — who, by the way, was hired to do that particular task. Not only can mistakes be made — and morale diminished — but time and energy capital has been lost that could have been used by that coworker or boss to do what they were hired to do to the best of their ability.

Let people do what they do best — the job they earned by bringing their own skills, talents and experience to the table and were hired, accordingly, to do. Respect the career journey that includes the training, studying, interviewing, and toiling it took for one to attain a particular status or position in their career, whether senior or entry-level.

I learned a great lesson after that customer service incident: Respect people’s position, and know that they were hired for a reason. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they can and will do the job to avoid unnecessary headaches.

So Excessive Boutique owner Keena Williams

February is known as a month of love, and 32-year-old Keena Williams has been in a 15-year affair — but not with a man. Her beau’s name is So Excessive Boutique (along with its online retail store) and the success of their relationship lies in all that sparkles and shines, from dazzling bracelets to bright-hued broaches to sparkling hoops and studs.

“My inspiration stems from my obsession with accessories; They are the icing on the cake,” Williams says. “It was Rachel Zoe who said, ‘A dress is just a dress until you add the jewels,’ and that is my philosophy as well.”

From her days as a high school student selling accessories to trendy peers to opening her own boutique in Newark, N.J, Williams prides herself in filling a void in an area quite close to one of the world’s fashion capitals, but not often known as the hot spot for chic. She believes in investing in her hometown, providing consumer access and community-building revenue.

With Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week just around the corner, BlackEnterprise.com talked with Williams on how she got started, how she plans to carve a niche in the accessories market and why it’s a good idea to invest in local communities when starting a business.

The accessories market is a saturated one, especially with so many celebrities starting jewelry lines and accessories boutiques. How does So Excessive remain competitive?

We stay on the pulse of accessory trends and we educate our customers. With each purchase, we share how to care for their accessories, tips on wearing them and introduce them to products such as Lobe Wonder, which is a great one for women who wear heavy earrings. Our goal is to be a resource for our customers as well as a place to shop. We’ve also hosted events where customers can network, have cocktails and shop.

Why did you choose Newark, N.J. for your location?

I chose Newark because it’s my hometown, and I saw a void in the marketplace for an accessories boutique. Newark is going through a metamorphosis right now and there are some really great things going on within the city. I definitely wanted So Excessive to be a part of that.

What did it take to start the online store?

The online store was just as much work as opening a brick-and-mortar location. Picking a Website designer who understood my vision was very important, and researching sites I love to shop from was also part of the process. I also used friends as my focus group to make sure the online experience had the same feel as the boutique. In terms of overhead, I had to invest in Website design costs and monthly maintenance fees.

What five tips would you have for young women who want to go into the accessories retail business?

Great customer service is key. This is at the top of the list. No one wants to shop where the staff isn’t friendly.

Do your research. Just because you love it doesn’t mean there is a market for it.

Stay on top of the trends. You don’t have to subscribe to every trend, but you should always know what people are talking about and wearing.

Take and listen to feedback. Listening skills are key. It’s a good idea to ask customers for feedback and listen to their wants and needs so you can improve their experience.

Make sure you have a great support system. Starting a business can be an emotional roller coaster, and there will be plenty of times where you will need support or a shoulder to lean on.

(Image: Thinkstock)

I’ve always been mum about my age. “A lady never tells,” would always be my response upon hearing an inquiry I always found rude and intrusive. As the years went by, I’d even remix the reply: “I’m 21 for the second time… third … fourth … fifth … sixth…”and friends and family would play along.

But, after the sixth time of turning 21, I thought about how close I was to reaching 30 and how being 21 for the umpteenth time was just becoming tired and corny.

Earlier this month, I hit the big 2-9 — my last year in my 20s. And with that has come quite a bit of growth and fearful, honest reflection.

There are small triggers for me that spark those Oprah-esque “Aha!” moments in my life. I recently had a candid conversation with my 81-year-old Granny about aging, and it somehow drifting into ideas for decorating my apartment. I’d been practically neglecting to do so since it wasn’t the ritzy Park Ave. oasis I’d envisioned I’d have by 30.

“You should learn to make wherever you live a home,” she advised. “No matter how small or how big and no matter where you think you should be, you should always create a space to be proud to come home to.”

That insight alone made me think of my life and what space I wanted to create for myself in the world at large. As a college student, I was used to being transient and carefree. I’d lived on campus all four years, supported by my parents, loans, grants, scholarships, and an allowance. When I had breaks, I’d spend them either traveling or interning, and when I was home, it was for short stints.

My outlook on getting employed was centered on the concept of free-spirited independence. I had dreams of leaving behind my laid-back, debutante, Southern upbringing for the fast-paced, ever-changing city life I’d witnessed many times while visiting my family in Harlem and Brooklyn as a child.

I was blessed to get my first full-time job in media shortly after graduation, and briefly lived in my own apartment in the South. In my mind, the move was temporary — a stepping stone to get my feet wet, excel as much as I could, and catch the eye of a big New York publisher. I never really invested in decorating or fixing up my place, nor did I invest fully in many things I’ve written so much about as a mature journalist today (such as networking, retirement accounts, savings, and emergency funds). I was more focused on spontaneous experiences, travel and ultimately keeping it moving.

When I finally got a chance opportunity for a freelance job for a major publisher Manhattan, I went for it — with very little planning or savings. I had many bumps, including interesting and not-so-comfy rooming experiences and several bad financial decisions. Fortunately, I landed the job and would eventually move on to a few others before getting my position here at Black Enterprise.

Now that I’m close to 30 (*gasp*) and have achieved all I have professionally, I’m implored to approach things in a more holistic fashion— where every piece of the puzzle plays a vital role and must fit in a more strategic, big-picture way. It’s less about growing pains and short-term thrills, and more about building a foundation of worthwhile experiences that will ultimately have long-lasting benefits.

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At 29, I’m realizing that planning isn’t that big bad word only Perfect Patties or scolding elders use, and building roots are signs of maturity and prosperity. I gladly embrace it because though its good to be a free spirit, a bit of discipline never hurts to ensure each step can be safely made without too much avoidable fallout.

I don’t regret the order of my steps — many that included once-in-a-lifetime moments of excitement, laughter, spontaneity, and growth — but, these are the five things I’d tell my less-responsible, more spontaneous 20-year-old self:

TRUST YOURSELF: That voice in your head saying, “Go ahead” or “Stop, don’t do it,” is a truthful one. Nine times out of 10 it won’t stray you wrong, especially when it comes to men and money. You don’t need two or three more people for confirmation. Just listen and be obedient.

FOR DECISIONS — ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT ENTAIL LONG-TERM FINANCIAL COMMITMENTS — PRAY, THINK, and SAVE (IN THAT ORDER): Many of my decisions in my 20s were compulsive, without much consideration of pros and cons. When I wanted a car, I got one (and got stuck with a very unforgiving loan agreement because I hadn’t researched or saved for a down payment, maintenance or emergencies). If I wanted to move, I’d move (often losing lots of money in storage, rentals and replacement of loss items after moving from place to place.) If I wanted clothing, shoes, new hair — you name it — and I had the cash, I’d buy it. Def. not fun undoing 10 years of this mentality.

SPLURGE ON BIG-PICTURE THINGS, NOT THINGS THAT APPEAL TO SHORT-TERM URGES: Though I don’t regret my move to New York, I think it would’ve been much easier had I bit the bullet in a smaller market for a little longer, saved a bit more money, and invested in a great starter apartment upon my move. Also, all that money spent on nightlife, socializing, club fashions and trendy beauty products was unnecessary. It all made for great immediate experiences, but more investment in bigger-picture things, such as a money market account, new laptop, nice Chanel suit, or a “Co-op Buying Fund” would have been nice right about now.

IT’S BEST TO DIVERSITY YOUR CIRCLE: Just because they’re your close friends doesn’t mean they have to be your career mentors, travel pals or prayer partners. Every close friend won’t fit into every space in your life. Learn to meet new people, network, and categorize accordingly. And please, make sure that your professional network is as strong as your social or party network, if not stronger.

LEARN TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY FIRST: My Granny would always say this to me, but it didn’t really hit home until now. It’s OK to tell people no, to not be into the same things you once were into or to move on to bigger and better. And it’s OK to be a little selfish for the right reasons: Whether its turning down a friends “must-attend” birthday bash or creating a home space that’s so comfy you don’t want to leave, these small gestures have big impact in overall health and happiness.

Some of us walk through life constantly needing the OK from this peanut gallery, whether it’s family members, friends or spouses.

Take these hypothetical instances:

SCENARIO ONE:

Friend 1: I don’t think a natural would be a good look for you. Just isn’t professional.

Friend 2: You don’t think so? I love natural hair, and I’m sick of all the relaxers and chemicals… Okay, well … I think I’ll keep my hair straight.

SCENARIO TWO:

Family Member 1: I’ve always wanted to move to Europe and volunteer with youth.

Family Member 2: What do you know about Europe? You need to focus on the job you have here in the States.

SCENARIO THREE:

Colleague 1: I’ve always dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. I’m sick of working on computers. It’s not my passion. I’m going to put in my two weeks, and go to school full time.

Colleague 2: In this economy? You should just stay where you are. Maybe volunteer at a pet shelter or something …

True, well-meaning peers can offer great advice on how to handle situations, how to resolve conflicts or simply be confidantes in times of need. People often volunteer advice or their two cents on the decisions people make out of love or concern.

Also true is the fact that a great mentor can help guide a professional on the best moves to make. An effective mentor would be credible enough to do so, having either been there and done that, or having the professional knowledge and experience to back up any advice given. They will also know how to give directives that are more about positive options or alternatives and less focused on discouragement.

Lately, I’ve been privy to people, who have no real experience or even basis of knowledge, speaking on what someone should or shouldn’t do, and seeing people who can’t seem to make one move without a co-sign. Just as a financial co-signer has to align with various financial and employment criteria for approval from a bank, the same should go for those “life” co-signers who speak on behalf of the decisions of others.

In a fast-paced business world where confidence is vital, I’ve found that building inner discernment is a better option than always needing someone to approve of what I’m doing in my life. How can one maneuver a vehicle forward if they’re constantly distracted by backseat drivers? How can one truly capture their destiny if they’re always unsure or even more confused because of constant consideration of multiple opinions and irrelevant scrutiny?

If one has strong discernment and confidence, they are able to know when to ask for help and when to just act. They know when to listen to that inner voice and take a chance, and when they should first get insight or expert advice before making a move. They know the foundation of who they are and what works for their unique needs and wants. They also know that those things may not always be traditional or on the beaten path, and that’s OK.

Sometimes, even choosing to do the total opposite of what someone advises— and falling down because of it—is even OK. Mistakes are part of life, and some of us wouldn’t learn or advance without making them.

From the few years (*wink) I’ve been on this Earth, I’ve learned that, it’s alright to admire someone, hold their opinions in high esteem, and even be inspired by their blueprint for success, but it’s important to make my own decisions, be accepting of the consequences and even create a new blueprint for the life that is MINE.

I would challenge anyone out there who is constantly looking for outside approval on everything they do to first look inward and be secure in the person you are, and to develop and exercise discernment. You don’t always need that cosigner, and when you do need one, know who to trust with the honor of giving you advice. Ultimately, trust yourself to act on what you believe is right.

Celebrity event planner Diann Valentine

Events entrepreneur Diann Valentine saw her business grow from her father’s garage into a full-fledged brand that includes publishing, products and a TV show. Her story of confidence, faith and perseverance is a prime example of how today’s small business isn’t so small after all, making a big impact on the economy as well as the world at large.

With a celebrity client list including Basketball Wives stars Jennifer Williams and Evelyn Lozada, T.D. Jakes, Usher, Kelis, and brides across the nation, Valentine prides herself in providing the celebrity wow factor for them all, whether famous or not.

BlackEnterprise.com caught up with the events diva and host of WE tv’s I Do Over on how she’s kept her business viable and profitable, even in a recession. Check it out:

Produced by Janell Hazelwood; Videography and editing by Melissa Johnson

Are you a Woman of Power? Then join us for the annual Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit hosted by State Farm, Feb. 15–18, 2012, at The Ritz-Carlton, Orlando, FL. This exciting, executive leadership summit is your chance to focus on YOU. Network with industry leaders, learn career strategies, find work-life balance, and start creating—and living—the life you really want! REGISTER NOW and use code DGED12 to receive a $200 discount off the price of registration! (Cannot be combined with other offers).

Khaleeqa "Roxi" Rouse

As the unemployment rate remains high for African Americans—more than 15%— many workers are forced to find other ways to make ends meet. Some have been forced to face harsh realities about their lifestyle, their budgets, their passions and what really matters at the end of the day.

For Website entrepreneur and health advocate Khaleeqa “Roxi” Rouse, unemployment sparked a holistic change in her life, from her health to her self-esteem to her career path. After downsizing, soul-searching and taking an honest look at her definition of happiness, she decided to start Paparoxi.com, a hub focused on helping people tap into healthy, purposeful living that features insights and tips on fitness, food and fun.

Check out how she did it, why pursuing your passion is the best route and how you can turn the stigma of unemployment into the opportunity of a lifetime.

Produced by Janell Hazelwood; Videography by Janel Martinez; Video editing by Melissa Johnson

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 48 today, as millions send their birthday greetings and well-wishes from around the world.

Mrs. O has undoubtedly made her mark on history becoming the first African-American first lady. She also makes a remarkable impact by spreading awareness on childhood obesity and education and serving as a style icon for millions of working women from the East to the West. The ultimate “mom-in-chief,” Obama juggles parenting with pursuing her passion for not just being on the arm of the president, but making a difference in the lives of youth and their families. Her influence has been far reaching, from what she wears to how she chooses to be a hands-on parent.

Check out more on Michelle Obama’s influence on the world and be inspired by how you too can make an impact:

Michelle Obama’s Profitable Style Profile

Michelle Obama’s Six Rules of Parenting

Michelle Obama Joins Twitter