Does a Joint Account Indicate Trust in a Relationship?

Or are separate accounts a safer option?

by Kenny Pugh Posted: March 16, 2013

In reflecting on the state of today’s relationships and marriages, I’m becoming more and more sensitive to the elements currently causing them to fail.

With the divorce rate currently hovering above 50 percent, we have to begin evaluating the various sources of discord and discontentment. One of the sources typically cited by those counseling couples going through divorce is the area of finance. As I personally consider my understanding of marriage and its symbolism of two people becoming united as one, I wonder if any insight on financial trust can be gained in how two people manage their bank accounts.

I’ve personally had a chance to discuss this topic on a couple of occasions on my Chat Kafe Radio Show (www.chatkafeonline.com), and have heard examples of couples who have successfully structured their finances both jointly and separately. As more men and women are waiting until later in life to get married, the number of them bringing assets into marriages is increasing. As a result, there is an innate desire by some who have worked hard to accumulate these assets to “protect what is theirs.” According to a survey conducted by Raddon Financial Group, 48 percent of married couples have two or more checking accounts between them. Another survey echoes this sentiment: 36 percent of married couples have both a joint account and separate accounts, while 16 percent maintain separate accounts.

My preference is to maintain a joint account with separate accounts for personal spending. Maintaining separate accounts in order to address trust issues isn’t the right method to consider. Communication and/or marriage counseling are the appropriate methods for addressing trust issues.

What are your thoughts on joint or separate bank accounts? I’d love to hear from you.

Kenny Pugh is a Life & Relationship Strategist, Author of ‘Can You Do It Standing Up?’, Associate Minister, Chat Kafe Radio Show Host, singles leader and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, finances and life. You can find more information about Kenny at http://www.kennypugh.com. You can follow him on Facebook at Kenny Pugh or on Twitter @mrkennypugh.

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/porschiagrace Porschia Nicole Grace

    “My preference is to maintain a joint account with separate accounts for personal spending.” Why would personal accounts be needed for personal spending? Does that not contradict the goal of becoming one?

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    I think having “joint accounts” is another one of those things that sounds right theoretically but in reality doesn’t work. I tried the “join account” route and it became problematic not because my ex mishandled money but because I felt demeaned every time I had to explain every dollar that I spent on me (personal products) but he could spend money with no explanation. Additionally, I was advised by my real estate agent, car salesman, and attorney NEVER to purchase/open anything joint because if one person in the relationship loses a job or becomes financially irresponsible then both individuals are negatively affected. If the house or car is in only one person’s name and someone loses a job then the other party is free to help rebuild the financial situation without penalty. Well it was advice given too late because when my ex left and decided to no longer be financially responsible his irresponsibility resulted in my financial demise thanks to “joint accounts”. My parents have been married 39 years and they have maintained two joint accounts at separate institutions. Dad manages one bank account and mom the other but they both have access to each other’s accounts in case of emergency. That’s also an option but after my experience, I think joint for household expenses and separate for personal spending is the wisest way to go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nptomey Natasha Ptomey

    You continue to write great, thought-provoking articles here. I prefer joint accounts and separate accounts for personal spending. I have not had the personal opportunity to experience this yet but my friends have and they say this works for them. I guess my main reason for wanting my own personal account is because I have had my current account for at least 16 years and do not want to part from it. So I hope that my future husband and I will come to an agreement on this without too much hassle.

  • Kenny Pugh

    Great comments! I am a big fan of a joint account to pay bills along with separate spending accounts for personal purchases. The moral of the story is about healthy communication and recognizing the big picture of how spending impacts the entire household.

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