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I once interviewed Shanti Das, a powerfully humble veteran of the music business, who told me something I had to bring back to the front of mind during a recent meeting: “This can be a pretty volatile industry sometimes, especially as a woman. You have to keep that poker face.”

I’ve been trying to master that “poker face” for most of my life. And let’s say it’s been quite the uphill battle.

Since childhood, I have been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve and have always been very vocal about my opinion—whether good or bad. If I’m happy or passionate about something or someone, I’ll be all smiles, all talk, and extremely chipper. But if I’m angry or disagree with someone or something, it’s definitely not a secret. It’s quite a challenge for me to hide a miserable disposition once I’m annoyed or upset.

In my adult years, I can say that it has led to an uptick in my low roommate success rate (thus I do not now or ever plan to live with one again) and has also contributed to quite a bit of friction in not-so-comfortable situations of conflict in other areas of my life.

“When you’re upset, everyone can feel it and it makes people uncomfortable,” a former colleague—now friend—once told me. “Its a passive-aggressive control method and a major turn-off.”

I’m not afraid to admit I still struggle with trying to balance my passion for what I feel is right, appropriate or great, with being overzealous or off-putting when people don’t agree with me or when I don’t agree with them.

I think passion is fine in the workplace, and love to see it as a motivator of sorts to make great things happen. But, here are some things that are not so great about wearing your emotions on your sleeve:

1. When I’m upset or appalled by something that is said or done, if I don’t get a handle on it, I begin grinding my teeth (leading to a very obvious temple bulge), my lip quivers and my voice volume raises a few notches. Maybe a frown or grimace will emerge as well. Those triggers, when witnessed, often cause people to shut down in their response, turning interest into disinterest or offense.

2. Once I’m off-balance, I can’t properly respond to an opposing point in a manner that evokes the “I mean business” confidence I came in the room with. Also, the “I don’t like what you’re saying” disposition reflects a disregard of someone else’s professional credibility, opinions or points of reference, and takes focus off the ultimate goal, adding unnecessary roadblocks to getting the job done.

(And most importantly) 3. It’s just plain disrespectful and nasty. Have you ever liked dealing with that rude coworker who sucked her teeth or gave you a look of disgust when you asked for paperwork? Or that coworker who, because they didn’t agree with your idea, instantly showed an expression of sarcasm, writing off your credibility with the curl of a lip?

I’d guess your answer is no.

I’d like to better follow the advice of the many career experts and professional women I’ve interviewed and admired: Take a deep breath, focus on what really matters — bottom lines, not emotions—and think about the big picture, not just the now. Maybe someone did disrespect you, discredit a valid point or disregard your ideas all together. Find a better approach—whether it be a change in timing, the person you pitch to or the manner in which you speak—to get your voice heard and your agenda pushed.

And as my Granny would say to me in my pouty, spoiled childhood moments: “Nobody wants to listen to you or do anything for you with that ugly attitude. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

I challenge myself, and others who may be just as passionately opinionated as I, to each day get better at the poker face—whether its a pleasant but authoritative smile or the traditional straight expression. If you’re more focused on your poker face, you’re more apt to listen, study how to best approach a situation and give it your best.

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We know the kinds of things good managers say: They say “Attaboy” or “Attagirl,” “Let me know if you run into any roadblocks, and I’ll try to get rid of them for you,” and “You’ve been killing yourself—why don’t you take off at noon on Friday?”

Bad managers don’t say these things. Helpful, encouraging, and trust-based words and phrases don’t occur to them.

Crappy bosses say completely different things. For your enjoyment, we’ve gathered together 10 of the most heinous, bad-manager warhorse sayings. Do any of them sound like something a manager in your company might say (or might have said this week)?

If you don’t want this job, I’ll find someone who does.
Great leaders understand that the transaction defining the employer-employee relationship—the fact that an employer pays you in cash while you cough up your value in sweat and brainwork—is the least important part of your professional relationship. Good managers realize that to get and keep great people, they have to move past the dollars-and-cents transaction and let people own their jobs. 

Read more at Bloomberg Businessweek …

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What you listen to leads you.  As a reinvention strategist and branding mentor to executives and entrepreneurs around the globe, I regularly remind professionals that their current path is a product of a past mindset.  That mindset is usually shaped by our life experiences and encounters with other people. Far too many chase riches instead of making choices based on inner-reason. Even more claw and climb the corporate ladder only to get to the top and discover that it’s not where they wanted to be after all. For that reason, you should pay careful attention to what and whom you listen to.  We can often find ourselves led by the opinions of people who will never live our lives.  Unconsciously, however, we end up living our lives for them and not ourselves.

Think about that for a moment.

How many times have you decided to do something because you felt it was what you were “supposed” to do? Or, perhaps you chose a career path because someone led you in that direction and you just followed along.  Sure, we all have to “do what we must do” now so that we can “do what we want to do” later.

Recently, I hosted a teleclass called “Overcoming a Brand Identity Crisis.” The response was so overwhelming, my team had to increase the capacity of the conference line!  Clearly, I hit a nerve.  I think the reason so many people are dissatisfied with their careers is because we end up listening to and being led by the opinions of others.  I say “we” because we have all done this, and it is a thought pattern that becomes engrained early on.  As children, we’re conditioned to listen, to be respectful, and to obey.  Of course, I’m not downplaying the importance of values, but I do think that many parents have steered their now-adult children into careers that they never really wanted for themselves.

Further, there is nothing inherently wrong with opinions. Like another infamous body part, everyone has one.  However, it is key to give the opinions of others proper perspective—nothing more and nothing less.

Here is the danger: few make the transition from childhood to what adulthood is supposed to be—not learning what to think, but how to think.  That is my approach when it comes to business mentoring and coaching entrepreneurs and executives through my programs with ME University.  After all, if everyone is thinking alike then someone isn’t thinking.  What’s more, if you never learn to stand for something you wholeheartedly believe in, you’ll eventually settle for something you don’t.

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In order to have a fulfilling career in the marketplace, you have to learn to be led by the drumbeat within you, not the fast-paced clamor of spam going on around you.  Your productivity (for executives) and your profitability (for entrepreneurs) is intimately tied to your authenticity.

Opinions are not fact. Just as people can be right, they can also be wrong. Here are three keys to placing the opinions, doubts and comments of others in perspective:

NUMBER ONE:  Create Mission Statement. By having a clear understanding of your purpose and mission, you’ll be able to filter through the ideas and options presented to you.  You can click here to read my previous article on 4 Keys to Crafting a Personal Mission Statement.  Once you craft a mission statement, refer to it often and use it like a compass to guide your choices.

NUMBER TWO: Listen to Proven Leaders.  You want to make sure that you’re listening to people who have actually been where you want to go.  Don’t just listen to people who have an opinion about opportunities they’ve never encountered.  Remember, what you listen to leads you.  You want to be led by people who have been where you desire to be.

NUMBER THREE: Trust Your Instinct.  Never value the opinions of others more than your own. You should evaluate opinions as considerations not commandments.  No matter how well someone knows you and cares about you, no one on the planet knows you better than you.  Your intuition is your greatest gift designed to guide and guard you.  Take time to tap into it.  Most importantly, trust it!

I would love to hear your advice and experiences when it comes to letting your inner voice guide you in the marketplace. Any lessons learned from listening to the wrong advice would be great discussion as well.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Game on: Avery Johnson calls the plays (Image: Press)

During his days as a point guard for the NBA’s San Antonio Spurs and other teams, he was nicknamed the “Little General.” At a modest (by NBA standards) 5-foot-11, Avery Johnson showed the leadership skill that enabled him to transition into coaching once his playing days were over.

Johnson gained notoriety by coaching the Dallas Mavericks to their first NBA Finals appearance and four consecutive 50-plus win seasons. Now, as head coach for the New Jersey Nets, the 46-year-old hopes to turn the beleaguered team around. He now has his work cut out for him, as the Nets finished up a dismal 12-70 the season prior to Avery’s appointment. In his first year as coach, the team improved somewhat to 24-58, but finishing just two games ahead of the last place Toronto Raptors in the Eastern Conference.

BlackEnterprise.com caught up with Johnson to talk about qualities in a good leader and how one can turn around the performance of an organization. Here’s what he had to say:

BLACK ENTERPRISE: You inherited a team that was perhaps the worst in the league.  How did you work to keep players motivated after such disappointment?

Avery Johnson: One of the first things we had to do was figure out how to change the culture within the whole organization.  We addressed that, obviously, with new ownership with Mikhail Prokhorov and our Russian group.  We’ve also made some other key strategic moves within the organization to eliminate in some areas, retain in other areas, but also add a different type of person with the right kind of DNA that we need to get the next elevated and catapulted in what I call a successful direction.  I think our focus, initially, and my focus has been more internal with auxiliary staff, also key upper level management positions to address those first. Then, in terms of the team, I had to sign some free agents, allow some guys to go and join other teams, and really just try to get my arms around this whole model in terms of how this team practices, how they travel, how they play games, how they retain information.

How do you change your culture?  Give me the biggest thing, the most significant thing that was done, other than new ownership, to change the culture?

Avery Johnson: You change it by bringing in…you can just call it the C Plan.  You change it by bringing in people with strong character, individuals who are competitors, who are confident, who know how to communicate well.  That’s how you change it.  You bring in individuals with that type of DNA.

When you start talking about the distractions, and especially the media plays a big part of everything, what do you do to keep the players focused?

Avery Johnson: I think, strategically, you get them focused on small victories.  For us, it’s about small victories.  It’s about baby steps.  Can we have a really good practice?  And, if we can have a good practice, can we come back and have another good practice?  Then, can we transfer having a good practice into winning a quarter in the game?  Can we win the first half?  Now, can we win the game? After we win the game, can we come back and have another good practice and have a good shoot around.  I think for us, can we get stronger in the weight room? It’s all about small victories, short-term goals.

What do you think are the most important qualities of leadership?  And how do you employ them now as a coach?

Avery Johnson: I think leadership is about education, being educated and competent in what you’re doing.  Leadership is about development, developing players mentally and physically, also developing in a way that they understand that this is a business, and their relationships to the community and sponsors are important also.  Leadership is about accountability, not only holding someone else accountable, but also holding yourself accountable.  Leadership is about decisions, making decisions that are in the best interest of the team first and not yourself.  I could go on and on, but that’s what…and leadership is also about resolving conflict.  You have differences of opinion and disagreements; but you have games where…games get pretty intense.  How do you resolve conflict?   Also, leadership is about understanding how to get to a desired result.

The Nets aren’t the most talented team in the league right now. How do you plan to get the most out of them?

Avery Johnson: The main thing is, t starts with having players that understand the need to train intensely in the off season.  We feel we gave them the necessary tools at the end of the season so that they can go and improve themselves in the off season.  We also understand that your great cultures, they have great players; and we know we have to improve our talent pool.

At the same time, we feel we’re going to be one of the preeminent franchises in basketball with us moving to Brooklyn, what I call a Taj Mahal of arenas in the Barclays Center, great ownership that’s willing to spend money in whatever area wisely to make sure that we have everything we need to be successful.  Jay-Z is really becoming more and more active in our ownership group, especially with us moving to Brooklyn, partnering with our Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov and Bruce Ratner.  We feel we’re a team that can go from worst to first.

Obama was able to achieve a decade-old national security objective, bringing closure to a nation changed by that fateful day when hijacked planes crashed into the twin towers of New York’s World Trade Center and the Pentagon and took some 3,000 innocent lives. His critics have often derided his management style as being “tentative” or “leading from behind.” But recent developments have seemingly vindicated a president known for detail-oriented pragmatism. His oversight of this daring maneuver offers a teachable moment for leaders seeking to complete missions, both complex and treacherous.

Clearly define your mission – even if you do it years in advance. The best leaders set long-term goals tied to a specific agenda. Obama stated that keeping America safe was his No. 1 priority and set his sights on neutralizing bin Laden from the beginning. In fact, President Obama first presented the idea of bringing the leader of al-Qaida to justice as Candidate Obama. In an October 2008 debate with Republican nominee John McCain, he maintained that “if we have Osama bin Laden in our sights and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take them out, then I think that we have to act, and we will take them out. We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al-Qaida.” One of his first acts in the Oval Office was directing CIA Director Leon Panetta to make the killing or capture of bin Laden “the top priority of our war against al-Qaida even as we continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network.”

Gain actionable intelligence. Too often, entrepreneurs and professionals make decisions without gaining sufficient, qualitative data. As a result, some tend to engage in reactionary responses due to financial desperation or competitive and market pressures. Take a chapter from Obama. After years of intelligence-gathering by CIA operatives and briefings from top military officials, he was first told of a possible lead last August. He persisted: “It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action.”

Seek input from top advisers. It doesn’t pay to play lone wolf. Gaining divergent views from experienced managers and weighing multiple scenarios are vital to the planning process. Moreover, it will likely keep you from producing career-killing or business-wrecking mistakes. Over the past six weeks, Obama held five national security meetings to fully discuss intelligence related to the compound and a possible raid. He conducted these sessions by receiving loads of input from top advisers — and actually listening to them. In Bob Woodward’s exhaustive account of military and diplomatic policy-making in the White House, Obama’s Wars, the president maintained that “a spirit of challenging our assumptions” was important for creating effective strategies and avoiding failed outcomes. He added: “I’m a big believer in continually updating our analysis and relying on a constant feedback loop. Don’t bite your tongue. Everybody needs to say what’s on their mind.”

Know what’s at stake. Whether running a mom-and-pop or a multinational corporation, your decisions affect the well-being those in your command. Obama has repeatedly stated that he wrestles with placing young men and women in harm’s way. Leadership, especially at the highest levels, require clear and ongoing communication of the mission’s objectives, the organization’s role and stakes involved. And make sure you properly train troops for the task. For example, the US special ops team practiced mock drills for several weeks prior to the raid. As a result, the 40-minute “targeted assault” produced not one military casualty. Bottom line: Put your people first.

Always keep your game face. Don”t display emotions or engage in actions that spook the troops or betray your mission. The president made his final decision to move forward with the raid at 8:20 a.m. on Friday, April 29^th. Over a 72-hour period, “No Drama” Obama carried the secret as he consoled tornado victims, delivered a college commencement address and cracked jokes at the White House Correspondents Dinner. (One of his ultimate power moves: Not only did the president slice-and-dice businessman and leading birther activist Donald Trump during his humor-laden appearance at the correspondents’ shindig, he pre-empted the conclusion of The Donald’s TV show, Celebrity Apprentice, with the bin Laden announcement.)

Remain positive and presidential. Great leaders are great communicators. Although Obama achieved the mission his Republican predecessor started, he delivered remarks without a hint of politics or partisanship. (In fact, the next day, he brought the Democratic and Republican leadership together at the White House.) He used his brief, 10-minute speech to share the significance of the moment, manage expectations about terrorism, promote religious tolerance and unify the nation.

Remember, there isn’t a cookie-cutter approach to the development and execution of comprehensive strategies. Detailed analysis and planning usually yield the best results. Obama’s m.o. offers a viable, disciplined approach to follow. It may help you emerge triumphant— with the least amount of casualties.

Leadership isn’t about getting things done yourself – it’s about accomplishing things through others, says Hill, co-author of Being the Boss: The 3 Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader (Harvard Business Review Press). The book, scheduled for release January 13, 2011, highlights what Hill believes are the most important rules to effective workforce management. Here are Hill’s three leadership imperatives:

Manage yourself. Entrepreneurs have to be aware of the influence they have on their ventures. With fewer checks and balances than someone managing a team in a large corporate entity, it is even more important for an entrepreneur to be aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses. “If you’re the owner of a business, we know how you behave and how you do things has a major impact on the culture of the organization and the kind of outcomes you see in the organization,” she says.

Manage a network. When people think of managing and leadership, they tend to think of those who report to them. But real management is about influence – both within your organization and outside of it, asserts Hill. Both require effective management. “If you’re not managing your team right and get that working right you’re not going to be able to manage the network of relationships you need to manage to create the conditions necessary for your organization to be successful,” she says. For example, a CEO focusing solely on managing the internal network won’t have the time to maintain relationships clients, suppliers and vendors – those who can help identify opportunities within the industry.

Manage a team: Many managers never grasp the critical difference between creating a team and simply managing a collection of individuals, says Hill. “A lot of very senior people have a tendency to manage one-on-one and think that’s the same as managing a team,” she says. “There’s a difference between getting your one-on-one relationships right as compared to building a team and thinking about putting the right culture in your organization so people will have the right attitudes and values you need to them to have to get the business done.”

There’s no cookie-cutter formula for finding the right balance of time and resources when it comes to focusing on these imperatives, so each entrepreneur will have to determine what works best for them. But particularly when business conditions are poor and competition is fiercer than ever, it’s clear that the old rules of business are outdated. “In today’s dynamic business environment, we all have to be prepared to reinvent ourselves time and again and reinvent our organizations,” Hill asserts. “What that means is we need to make sure that there’s a tight connection between doing our daily work and also learning and evolving over time.”

Read more on leadership building for entrepreneurs.

• How to sell anything to anybody
• VIDEO: How to get into the global marketplace
• How to affect positive change in your business

Everyone has heard someone talk about it: The boss who makes working a 9-to-5 a living hell. And in this current climate, dealing with a difficult a boss can be more than challenging when you’re already worried about keeping your job or surviving the next round of layoffs. Poor management in the workplace can lead to stress and inefficiency. But there is hope if you know how to manage up. Here are five manager personalities that can get under any employee’s skin, and tips on how you can handle them with finesse.

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• THE SITUATION: PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BOSS

• The boss is not direct and honest when reviewing an employee or subordinate. He or she will say a task has been done well, and then redo it or reassign the task to another worker instead of communicating with the employee.

• THE SOLUTION:

• Seek multiple sources of feedback. “Don’t rely on your boss as your only way of attending to your growth as an employee,” says Dr. Heather Lyons, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University whose special study interests include person-organization fit in the workplace.
• Use open-ended questions when asking for feedback, such as “How do you think I could have improved my presentation?” Those are more likely to yield more thorough responses, Lyons says.

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• THE SITUATION: THE MICRO-MANAGER

• They must have their hand in every step of a process and have no clue how to delegate. Instead they will look over your shoulder as you complete tasks instead of trusting you to do your job. This type of boss and the self-starter are often at odds.

THE SOLUTION:

• Give your boss an outline (formally or informally) of how you’ll handle the project. “Let this boss know that you’ll contact him or her as needed,” Lyons says.
• Find ways of updating this boss that don’t take away from your ability to do your job. “For example, adding this boss as a “cc” to important e-mails adds no extra time,” Lyons says.”

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THE SITUATION: THE OVERBEARING BOSS

• Their personality is strong and dominating. They are confident, almost to the point of arrogance. They often create an environment of panic and urgency in unhealthy doses.

THE SOLUTION:

• Don’t personalize interactions with this type of boss, Lyons says. “It’s too easy to assume that feedback employees are getting from this boss is related to some incompetence or failure on their part, especially because of the emotion that can be connected to interactions with this type of boss.”

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THE SITUATION: THE PASS-THE-BLAME BOSS:

They boast about accomplishments, but are quick to throw someone under the bus when something doesn’t go well. They rarely take up for the team when things could have been executed better.

• THE SOLUTION:

• Learn to toot your own horn to the right people, Lyons advises. “Set the story straight in a diplomatic manner before the boss even has the chance to take credit.”
• Begin documenting your efforts, including successes and failures. “You don’t have to share this information each time there is a transgression,” Lyons says. But, if employees begin to see patterns that influence important outcomes such as pay and promotion, then they can determine the next step in using the information that they’ve observed, she adds.

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THE SITUATION: THE NEGLIGENT BOSS

• They don’t give clear and concise directives. They often drop the ball and aren’t good with managing proper work flow. Guidelines are either blurry or not enforced. This boss is a close cousin to the Pass-the-Blame Boss.

THE SOLUTION:

• Get familiar with company policy and follow it. “Policy is what’s in writing at the workplace. Procedure is how things are really done,” Lyons says. “In this case, policy will be a good friend to the employee of the negligent boss.”

• Get multiple sources of feedback about procedure. “Sometimes those in power are not the ones with the longest history,” she says. “Therefore, employees can touch base with those with a long institutional history for more information about how projects are really carried out.”

Lawrence Page reopened the famed Pink Tea Cup in Greenwich Village.

Small businesses have been taking a beating over the last few years do to the economy and famous soul food restaurants are no exceptions. The Pink Tea Cup has been a legendary eating establishment in New York’s Greenwich Village neighborhood for over 56 years. But last year, it was on the verge of closing forever until filmmaker Lawrence Page stepped in and bought the rights to the name and reopened the famed restaurant in a new location. With previous experience running several French bistro’s in Manhattan, Page knew that in order to make the restaurant successful again he would have to continue to fulfill the desires of the older patrons (who started a web campaign to save the establishment) but add new attractions to arouse the interest of new customers.

If you take over an existing restaurant or food business you can end up finding yourself back in financial trouble if you don’t learn to find a balance between the new and the old ways, says Page, who also owns The Actors Playhouse next door. For Food Biz this week here are his five tips to keep your oven hot and your customers satisfied.

Communicate the change in ownership to old customers. When you buy a brand that has been around for a long time, show your long time customers that you appreciate their business by giving them customer appreciation discounts. Get to know them and reestablish yourself as the new owner. When people are used to brands they are not used to change. Let them know that their favorite staples will remain on the menu. Assure them that you are going to carry on the brand just as good as it was before, if not better.

Add some new staples. When if comes to change you have to be very careful with established restaurant brands. Keep on the old staples, but make sure that the quality of the food is upgraded to current standards. “Companies come out with better quality and healthier products,” says Page. Familiarize yourself with food events, new taste profiles, quality control and other things that will make a difference to new and old recipes. Let older customers know about the new changes so they won’t be shocked.

Bump up the restaurants profile. Don’t be afraid to step up your game and compete with new businesses. Do things that have never been done at that restaurant before. Increase advertising and marketing. Play on new strategies in social networking. Use Twitter, Facebook, and geo-location services like Foursquare to find new customers. Think with the new generation in mind. It is a hard pill to swallow to change something that has been around awhile, but if you don’t you could be out of business fast, says Page.

Consider hiring new staff. Analyze the current staff and determine if they have what it takes to move forward with your changes. You’ll probably have to get rid of a lot of staff. Put them to work to see what they can do. Keep the ones that are willing to listen to change and who are loyal to your vision of the company and not the previous owner’s vision. Make sure to hire staff who do not always do things by the book and who know how to be flexible through challenges. For example, if your credit card reader goes down, instead of sending customers away, the manager should offer them the option to leave their credit information behind to be charged once the system is back up.

Be hands on. When you buy a well known brand make sure the brand goes the exact way that you want it to go. A lot of restaurants with famous owners end up closing because they put their money behind it and the name in front of it, but they don’t take a hands on approach to making sure their dictates are followed.

For more information on running a restaurant read:

Where the Eating is Easy

Dining Out At 1300 On Fillmore

1. A co-worker tells you your clothing is inappropriate for the office. What do you do?

A)   Tell the co-worker thank you and start calculating how much a new wardrobe will cost.

B)   Ask the co-worker to give you examples of how your choice of clothing impacts the office culture.

C)    Ignore her; she’s not your manager.

D)   Tell her she’s wrong by pointing out other people who dress the same way you do.

2. In a meeting, your boss criticizes you for a mistake that a co-worker made. What do you do?

A)    Keep your mouth shut, thinking you’re taking one for the team.

B)    Pull your boss aside after the meeting and let him/her know what’s up.

C)    Ask the co-worker who made the mistake to confess to the boss.

D)    Stand up immediately during the meeting and let the boss and everyone else know you weren’t at fault.

3. You’re offended when a colleague suggests that you do a more thorough job preparing the next time you give a presentation. What do you do?

A)   Start looking for a Toastmaster’s class.

B)   Ask yourself why you’re offended and consider whether there are steps you can take to improve your presentation skills.

C)   Dismiss the co-worker’s advice; he’s just hating.

D)   Thank the co-worker, then point out one of his deficiencies.

4. A friend calls your plans to quit your job and start a business reckless. You’ve prepared for this move for months and you strongly disagree. What do you do?

A)  Push back your plans another six months. A little more time can’t hurt.

B)   Thank your friend for caring and continue with your plans.

C)   Ignore your friend. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

D)   Show your friend examples of all of the successful entrepreneurs who have taken a risk.

5. When going over your employee performance review, your manager tells you that your skills aren’t good enough for the sales department and suggests that you think about transferring to customer service.  You’ve always wanted to be in sales. What do you do?

A)  See what opportunities are in customer service. You may find you like it better there.

B)  Ask your manager what specific skills you need to improve upon to do better in sales.

C)  Say nothing. You know it’s not true, but how can you argue with your boss?

D)  Go to your desk and start looking at job sites for a new employer.

Answer Key:

If you answered mostly As, you may be giving other people’s criticisms more weight than your own opinions. While it’s healthy to listen to what other people have to say, always consider your own viewpoints before making a decision to act.

If you answered mostly Bs, you appreciate the feedback of others, but you don’t let it override your own instincts. You have a healthy reaction to constructive criticism by wanting to learn more about others’ perceptions and being willing to change.

If you answered mostly Cs, you might be too quick to dismiss the feedback of others. Constructive criticism can provide insight into our blind spots, so you might want to at least consider the feedback of others before dismissing it.

If you answered mostly Ds, you may be overly defensive about criticism. Even if you disagree with someone’s assessment, you don’t have to debate with them or prove them wrong. Simply thank them for sharing their opinion and go on about your business.