For some people, the thought of having haters is as fascinating as wondering about life on other planets. And just as pointless. (Curiously, people respond to or talk about their haters, but they rarely block them.) What’s to gain from obsessing about it? My point of view is this: We need to stop hating on our haters. Without them, we probably would not ever come close to achieving our full potential, much less greatness. That’s right, I said it. If you want to be great and do great things, be grateful for haters—you need them.

Have the courage to ask yourself: Could my haters be right? What do they see that my supporters don’t—or do, but don’t have the guts to say? Those who openly oppose you are often the ones who see you most clearly. Just because someone is envious of you, disagrees with you or does not like you does not necessarily mean that their views are totally inaccurate and that you have nothing to learn from them.

In fact, my experience has shown just the opposite. It’s mostly my haters, not my friends, family or “peeps,” who refused to pretend I looked good in that $100 suit, that my presentation skills didn’t suck or that my writing was genius. Friends are full of dishonest approval—they’ll tell you what makes you feel good. After all, they don’t want to discourage you, hurt your feelings or get you mad at them. Haters are far more honest in their criticism than your supporters are in their praise.

That’s why it’s important to be mature enough to listen—not necessarily agree, but truly listen—to your haters. Being able to sift through people’s envy and bad intentions toward you for the valuable truths in their criticism is often a key to greatness—and sometimes even survival. Because, as much as we hate to admit it, sometimes the haters are right. The truth is, haters are good at pointing out our weaknesses precisely because they are being critical—unlike our supporters, they are looking for our flaws. Allowing your haters to point out your vulnerabilities is a great way to address them before they can be exploited.

So, I’ll take honest criticism over dishonest approval every time. You can always disagree with honest criticism. And it can help you keep your game tight. But too much dishonest approval will have you busted, disgusted, alone, unemployed and/or incarcerated. I’ve seen far more people done in by those who blindly approve of everything they say and do, than I’ve seen get destroyed by their critics. Haters can’t really hurt you unless you let them. But being surrounded by people cosigning on everything you do can literally get you killed.

But here’s the real reason you should be grateful for your haters: They will never just admit you’re right, you’re wonderful, you’re better than they are; they’ll force you to prove it. The need to prove haters wrong has always been a far more powerful motivator than the desire to justify the faith of supporters. It’s not our most loyal fans, but our most hated rivals who drive us to bring our A games and force us to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. For those of us who truly want to be the best at what we do, it’s our haters, not our supporters, who are more likely to motivate us to put in the 10,000 hours of practice Malcolm Gladwell says is necessary to achieve mastery in his book Outliers: The Story of Success. We let our fans (family, friends, even ourselves) down all the time. But we’ll be damned if we’ll let our haters see us at less than our best. Your fans may support and sustain you. But it’s your haters that force you to put up or shut up. And your haters are usually far more reliable than your fans are.

That’s why champions grow to respect their “haters.” They’ve learned that you can’t achieve greatness without them. Shepherd boy David needed Goliath and the Philistines to become King David. Muhammad Ali needed Joe Frazier and George Foreman to become the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of all time.) Michael Jordan and the Bulls needed Patrick Ewing and the Knicks (and especially their true haters, Knick fans). And you can’t convince me that Venus and Serena Williams would have all of those Grand Slam titles if the tennis world had welcomed them with open arms. By the way, these examples prove that appreciating what your haters have to say does not mean you should surrender to them. In fact, the best way to show you appreciate your haters is to hear them out, using their criticisms to identify and correct your weaknesses and get you focused and fired up to whip that a—ahem—win, anyway.

“Alfred, do you have a lot of haters?,” someone asked me on Twitter the other day. I’m sure I do, though I have no idea how many or even who most of them are. All I know is I’ve learned some of my best lessons at the hands of people I considered to be some of my toughest haters. Some of them may have really hated me. Still others were truly jealous and wanted to bring me down. Others may have actually thought they were doing me some good. No matter what their motivation, I’ve learned to value my opposition and to be open to their criticisms. I’d rather have real haters than fake fans.

So go ahead. Call out your haters. But don’t say it like it’s a bad thing. Get past their motives and how they say what they say. Focus on the content of their message and try to see what they see. And don’t be so obsessed with haters that you become one yourself. Because some of y’all on Twitter and Facebook really just need to let it go and get a life. Not trying to hate. I’m just saying.

Now, where my hatas at?

Be sure to read this related content…

• Is It Constructive Feedback or Hating?
• 4 Ways to Give and Take Criticism

Despite his success, the now 40-year-old, multiplatinum artist still dealt with the resurgence of past issues, feeling a sense of emptiness, and seeking a deeper purpose. In his new book, The Blueprint: A Plan for Living Above Life’s Storms (Gotham Books; $25), Franklin shares his personal trials and triumphs and how he used them to propel him to success. The Fort Worth, Texas, native talked to Black Enterprise about enduring hardships, the importance of living an honest life, and how a strong foundation changes everything.

You’re very candid about your childhood–having an absent father and a mother who said she wished she’d aborted you. How did that impact your life?
I really believe that we will never fully understand the development and growth that we rob from our children when we do not parent them and give them the affirmation they need. I watch my son when he’s outside throwing his ball. He’s always peeking out the side of his eye to see if I’m watching. I intentionally give him a thumbs-up because I know it’s important for a son to have affirmation from his father so that he grows up not always longing for that, but he’s groomed to know that he is important to this earth. People want to belong, and people want to feel like they have a part in this life’s chain.

In one chapter of your new book, you said that people don’t like to tell on themselves. But you have made your struggles public. Why is it so important for you to be transparent?
I want to share how my life has been transformed. Having a painful childhood affected my mindset and how I viewed girls. I was just very promiscuous. It was hard to get through during my teenage years and 20s. I’ve come through this, and now I’m on the

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other side of it and have the freedom of being able to be committed to one woman. People fail because there are not enough teachers able to take off their jacket or their robe and sit next to you in the classroom and say “me, too.”

So you are practicing what you preach, which is to take faith out of the pews and into people’s real lives?
It’s very important to me to take off the holier than thou stigma and for people to see that we Christians have a real honest type of lifestyle. A lot of people come to church with masks on because we can’t afford to allow others to see our real faces. So if the sermon is more like a pep rally with three points that help you get through your day, you get those points, clap, say amen, and then leave never having to take your mask off and never getting to the root of the problem in your life. The real work comes when we take off the mask, get uncomfortable, roll up our sleeves, and look deep into the mirror of what was really behind that.

Having been through that real, uncomfortable work yourself, how did you develop a blueprint to change your life?
The core of change is that defining moment of peace–peace that you begin to have deep inside of you that is not based on a new car, new purse, or a new boyfriend or girlfriend; but when you are alone and you are able to rest in being exactly where you are. I had to learn how to figure out the job of Christ inside me and allow Him to be the foundation that everything else would be built upon. Once He became that foundation, I was able to make room for my wife, Tammy; my career; children; and relatives. But when you don’t have that foundation built right, you’ll have the bathrooms on top of the roof and a toilet that is turned upside down.

Shenelle Wallace is a freelance contributor to Black Enterprise.com.

Though it may seem impossible, habits can be broken or gained. But the determinate in doing either effectively depends on the habit  and the individual. “The environment you’re  in and the support you have are going to play a part in your success as well,” says Kelly A. Morgan, author of Journey to a Place Called THERE: A Navigation Guide for Creating a Balanced Life (Scribe Etc.; $16.95). “The people you’re around, the habits they have, can bring you up or down.”

Of course, replacing bad habits with more productive and beneficial behavior won’t happen without discipline and commitment. Ongoing reinforcement is essential. Morgan says, “Reinforcement is a gentle reminder of what it is you need to be doing and why you need to do it.”

“Start with a small reduction,” offers Tony Gaskins Jr., a Tampa, Florida-based life and relationship coach. “Each day, do that thing one less time than you did the day or week before.” And all isn’t lost if you regress. “Just because you mess up one day, don’t give up all hope. The victory is in getting up one more time than you fail.”

Break or build a habit with these three steps.

1. Develop positive affirmations.
Prepare “I Am” statements, recommends Gaskins. Place them on blank flashcards and post them in your office, bedroom, or even home bathroom as constant reminders and encouragement. “I Am statements are everything you’re not,” he explains. “If you’re late, write ‘I am prompt,’ if you’re rude note, ‘I am nice, I am cordial.’” Gaskins says the exercise helps subconsciously reinforce the desired trait you’d like to have from the outside in.

2. Seek help from the masters.
Observe your surroundings. “Identify someone that is getting the results you desire,” says Gaskins, adding that seeking advice, tips from those effectively demonstrating a characteristic you’d like to incorporate into your daily regimen shows initiative.

3. Have an end in mind.
Visualizing where you see yourself in the future makes the goal’s reach much more attainable, which can in turn be motivating. Often a negative mindset prevents people from overcoming challenges, says Haygood. But once you are able to mentally see where it is you’d like to be, a plan and ways to measure progress and maintain accountability are pivotal. “Check in every seven days,” suggests Morgan. “This allows you to acknowledge how far you’ve come.”

Renita Burns is a writer and content producer for BlackEnterprise.com.

Harvard Professor Charles Ogletree Jr., Ph.D, made an alarming observation in 2004.

I’m talking about the scrub described in the TLC song lyrics: “Sitting on the passenger side of his best friend’s ride, tryin’ to holla at me.” Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about. The scrub they describe is living in his momma’s basement, takes his dates out on the bus or his bike and never has any money. The larger question is, is this term and description applicable to all black folks?

Before you ladies start tripping, I am not just referring to black men. In 2004, while speaking at a Dr. Martin Luther King Holiday event, Harvard Professor Dr. Charles Ogletree Jr. said that “(Blacks held) 1% of the nations wealth in 1865, and 1% now”. In other words, we hold the same percentage of wealth now that we held at the conclusion of slavery! Even if we assume that Ogletree’s stats are a bit off, I would be willing to bet that he isn’t far off. Black people are sitting in the passenger side of American wealth.

You’re thinking: How is this possible? We have improved exponentially. We have Oprah, Bob Johnson, Shaq, and Cosby; how is this wealth disparity possible? Black folks are arguably the descendants of the strongest people to walk the earth, a people who survived that free Caribbean cruise from the west coast of Africa. Black Folks in America have huge attributes like forgiveness, love, innovation, creativity, athleticism, and the list goes on. Black folks have a lot of things—except wealth.

In my financial advisory practice (www.PolarisAdvice.com), I get a front row seat to the insanity. I did an interview for another publication, and the interviewer was asking me why, based on a study, African American’s savings rate was so much lower than the general population. My answer included the disparity in wealth as a major reason, with a few examples. The fact that we generally earn less, require school loans more often, and rarely inherit wealth are huge factors. I did not share the participation in insane behavior with this publication since it is a “majority” publication. I will, however, add insanity as a major factor as I’m addressing the Black Enterprise audience. If you don’t know the definition of insanity, stop reading and ask someone right now. We need to collectively stop acting in an insane manner.

The solution to this insanity is way more than I can discuss here—you’ll have to wait for my book. I will, however, share a few easy ideas.

1. Shop with black-owned businesses for 12 months. It isn’t easy. I did it, and it was the most eye opening business experience of my life. (Also, see the Empowerment Experiment.)
2. Buy as much life insurance as you can afford, and work to end the cycle of not passing wealth on. Make the next millionaires of the next generation.
3. Save money, even if it hurts. Put it in a freezer bag, and throw it in the back part of the freezer where it ices over so that you have to chip it out to get it.

Black folks will stop being scrubs when we realize that wealthy people are wealthy because the have a lot of money, not because they spend a lot of money. A big part of keeping the money is by spending it among ourselves.

Eric D. Grant is a financial advisor with Polaris Wealth Management.  Eric is also an Investment Adviser Representative with ING Financial Partners, member SIPC.  Polaris Wealth Management is not a subsidiary of nor controlled by ING Financial Partners.

"How will my business make money if no one wants to pay?"

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Richard, a black comedian calls his white friend: “Hey, Chad. Just wanted to let you know: I’ll be in town next week to do a show. Hope you can make it.”

Chad: “Really? That’s great! What night is it? I’ll call all of my friends and we’ll pack the house! It’ll be a blast!”

“Thanks, Chad!,” says Richard. “It’s on Thursday night. I’ll see you then!”

Richard hangs up, excited about the prospect of a big night at the comedy club, which means more gigs. He then he calls his boy, Lamont. (What? You know he’s black. How many white, Asian or Latino guys named Lamont do you know? Try to keep up, okay? Anyway…)

Richard: “Monty-Mont! Whassup? It’s ya boy, Richy-Rich! Just hollerin’ atcha to let you know that I got a gig in town next Thursday. You coming, right?”

Lamont: “Hell, yes, I’m coming! You funny as a mug! Shoot, I’ll bring my girl, and tell her to bring her girls, and I’ll get Antonio and Big Rob and Lisa to come and get the word out to their peeps, too!”

“Cool!,” says Richard. He holds his breath. He knows it’s coming.

“You gonna hook us all up, right?,” says Lamont.

One of the biggest drags on black entrepreneurial growth and profitability is the “hookup”: black people expecting other black people to provide them with free goods and services just because they’re black. We need to stop it. Today. NOW.

No, she can’t hook you up with a few press releases and some public relations for your event.

No, he can’t hook you up with a few signed copies of his book.

No, he can’t hook you up with a quick shape-up so you can look fly at the club tonight.

No, she can’t hook you and your momma and aunties up with free tickets to the fashion show.

No, she can’t hook up a business plan for you real quick.

No, she can’t deliver the dinner keynote without an honorarium, in return for two tickets at the head table for food she won’t get to eat. Because she’ll be speaking during the dinner.

No, they can’t wash your car, pull your teeth, do your hair, fix your computer, edit your manuscript, paint your house, build your Website, etc. for free! Discount? Maybe. Complimentary services for referring new—paying—customers? Okay. An occasional freebie for long-time, loyal customers who always pay? Sure. Barter my goods or services for yours? We might be able to work something out. But, FREE? NO!

Hello? The point of being in business is to make money! How can entrepreneurs, and black business owners in particular, make money, if they’re expected to give their products and services—which costs them money to create, develop, market and deliver—away for free? If you don’t spend money with them, they can’t spend their money with you. If you won’t pay for your haircut, your barber can’t pay to eat at your restaurant. If Leslie the auto dealer won’t pay a competitive rate for wedding planning, Lisa the wedding planner can’t afford to buy a car from Leslie. Money has to circulate in order for economic empowerment to happen and for black entrepreneurs to have a chance to compete and thrive. You don’t support black entrepreneurs by showing up for the hook-up. You support black business by paying up.

When I find a black entrepreneur or professional who provides goods and services I like, I pay for those goods and services—period. I know that there are costs associated with providing a service and making a product, a cost they can only recoup by selling at a profit. I don’t want them to hook me up with free stuff. I want to hook them up with my spending, because then they can really hook me up, by creating jobs, growing the local tax base, supporting community organizations, doing business with other black entrepreneurs and professionals—or just having enough money and a predisposition to reciprocate, to buy goods and services (like subscriptions to Black Enterprise) from me and mine. I want black enterpreneurs to make money. I want them to succeed. I want them to get more than rich. I want to see as many wealthy black entrepreneurs, families and communities as possible. So if I like what they’re selling, I’m more than happy—I’m thrilled—to pay for it, and to tell all of my family, friends and associates how great they are.

Do you really want to support black entrepreneurs and black professionals? Stop hitting them up for freebies. If you believe in their products and services, pay for them, as you would for the products and services of any other business. If what they’re selling doesn’t merit that, why are you patronizing them in the first place? Do you really think you’re doing them—or yourself—a favor?

Maggie Anderson

The Empowerment Experiment has progressed from the website and the media to the streets and suites, from the computer and TV screens to a growing following in the churches, conferences, wine-tastings, networking receptions, dinner parties, and university halls.  Now that we have taken this turn—now that we are talking to more and more of you directly, learning and sharing with you face-to-face—we are really starting to feel, for the first time ever, what a movement feels like.  Strangers are hugging and crying, some remembering the ’50s and ’60s, some hurting about the present-day, and others hopeful about future.

We started EE because we knew there are so many more out there like us.  Folks who care and want to do more.  We felt like our generation has fallen short of our duty, like we’ve recklessly, lazily dismissed our purpose, our place in the ongoing battle for economic opportunity and social justice.  We are corrupting the legacy of our ancestors and the dynamism of our heritage.  EE is a chance to make up for that.  Through EE, we want to do something unprecedented and inspire something outdated.  We want to inspire that now near obsolete feeling of empowerment, hope, and solidarity that we had in the Civil Rights Movement.

But how do you do that?  Are we doing enough?  And are we doing it right?

Some of you know that after college, I began my career as a speechwriter.  And as a progressive, I often use quotes from famous civil rights leaders like President Kennedy, W.E.B. DuBois, and Dr. King.

So as I write these speeches about making a movement, I try to find the good ole Rev. Dr. King quotes to help me poetically and poignantly communicate that point.  But maybe a quote isn’t good enough this time.  I mean, if EE is the beginning of an economic empowerment revolution… If we are going to pull this off… If we are to truly make a difference… If more of my people will start thinking about how important it is for us to support one another… If Black people are going to gain control over their own fate and start proving, everyday, our magnificence to the world, instead of just reminiscing about it every once in a while… If we are going to transition into a movement manifested by actual results… then a Dr. King quote is not enough to make it all happen.  His very spirit needs to consume me, my husband John and EE.

So I talk to him everyday.  Dr. King tells me that even though he and Rosa Parks and all the other heroes did so much, I don’t have the luxury of giving up, or giving in.   I no longer have the right to live the empty and easy life.  I can not choose between Living his Dream and Fighting for his Dream anymore.

King says EE needs to be much more than a call for increased awareness and pride.  What we need now is something that goes beyond a call for more optimism, consciousness, and hope.

Dr. King says that patience and optimism alone will not get us to The Promised Land.  He taught us to temper that patience with a little passion. Back those prayers up with some planning. Justify that optimism with some industriousness and results.  Activate and hasten all those awesome hopes with some vigilance.

If Dr. King were here, I believe he’d want us to perfect our possibility by ensuring it and capturing it—owning it.  He’d want us to just own what’s ours.

Dr. King says to me, “We either seize it or let it slip away.”

Dr. King asks me, “When have we ever answered injustice, exploitation and despair with ‘It’s too hard.  I don’t know where to begin.  I am just one person?’ Or ‘The success of a few is good enough.’?”

And now I ask all of you:  Is this what you want?  Is this really enough? Is this the plan?  Is this what our ancestors and elders wanted for us? For this country?

Did they want us to fight for the vote, for equal rights, but then let poverty, crime and drugs, barred up businesses and boarded up homes become the new hallmarks of the black neighborhood?

Are we supposed to accept and overlook that we still have only one-tenth the transferable wealth of our white counterparts—a condition that has not changed since Reconstruction?  Should we pay no heed to the fact that our businesses, in 1980, shortly after we became fully integrated into American society, lead the pack in terms of revenue growth and success rates, but now, 20-something years later our businesses are a very distant third behind Asians and Hispanics, and our community’s economic health continues to worsen at an even more accelerated rate.

Must we close our eyes to our reality (while the rest of the world depicts it) that, according to every measure of social and economic progress—incarceration rates, unemployment rates, graduation rates, incomes, home ownership, whatever—our numbers are the highest or lowest, whichever’s worse?

Now before y’all even start, no way am I comparing myself to Dr. King or any of those legends to whom I owe everything.  But they all inspire me.  Without him and all those who struggled with him, there is no EE.  We are not them and can never be them.  However, everyday we do this—stick to our pledge, go without things we like and need, drive for miles and miles, take the flack, avoid the pain, feel the love—we do it with them in our hearts and minds.  Every day in The Empowerment Experiment we recall another time in our history when our people came together because one black woman decided to take a stand.

No, no.  I am not Rosa Parks.  And I won’t and wouldn’t insult her legacy my comparing my sacrifice to hers.  But I will certainly dishonor it, if I don’t learn from her and her sacrifice.  And we insult her—we all do—when we give up on her fight.

So I do this in her honor.  And just like her, I seek and listen to Dr. King, and hope to make him proud.

Maggie Anderson, a business consultant, and her husband, John, a financial advisor, have been buying black made-products and services for all of 2009.  They call their pledge The Empowerment Experiment (EE).  Their experiment will serve as the foundation for a landmark study on self-help economics in the Black community.  They live in Oak Park, Illinois, with their two daughters; Cori, age 2, and Cara, 4.

The Andersons and Tag Team Marketing's Wilson de Brianos

When we created The Empowerment Experiment, we knew things would be different.  We knew we were going to miss certain businesses, services and products that we had grown so accustomed to using.  What we could not predict or begin to prepare myself for is how absolutely fulfilling the shopping and the small sacrifices would be.

We’ve met some extraordinary entrepreneurs.  We’ve discovered some of the best businesses in the world.  We’ve made so many new friends who are genuinely committed to facilitating positive change in America, and bringing much needed vitality and economic development to struggling black communities. We go to bed every night knowing we’ve helped a black entrepreneur realize his or her dream; and helped create a new role model for black youth.

What an amazing way to live!  That’s our powerful life.

Jordan's Closet

So thank you Joslyn, owner of Jordan’s Closets on 51st street in the Bronzeville neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago.  Thank you for enabling this great life.  Thank you for never giving up, as you bring your beautiful one-year old son to work with you everyday… even when your store was broken into three times in one month… where you provide our community with the most adorable children’s clothing and a wonderful role model for girls and moms alike.

Thank you Selena Cuffe, owner of Heritage Link Brands (a 2009 Black Enterprise Small Business Awards winner), for enabling me to live my new great life, my powerful life.  Thank you for giving up your executive position in corporate America five years ago to now become the largest importer of African wines and distributor of wines from black wineries.

Heritage Link Brands

Thank you Debbie and Delxino Wilson de Briano, for my great life.  Thank you for devoting all your talent and time to uplifting our community through self-help economics.  Thank you for launching the Black Business Network this week and building the successful TagTeam Marketing enterprise—the largest black-owned network marketing organization committed to introducing, marketing and selling black-made and distributed goods and services.  Thank you for using your millions to manifest your belief that black products, services and talent are some of the best in the world.   Thank you for believing that and sharing that belief with the world in such an honest, eloquent, brilliant and momentous way.

Health Conscious Coffees

And thanks so much Kerry Vine, owner of Health Conscious Coffees, for creating a delicious and healthy product and taking the time to introduce me to it in such a classy fashion.  I salute you for finally deciding to identify yourself as a Black business, at the risk of losing some of your market or alienating potential customers, including those who claim they never pay attention to race when they shop but somehow spend no money with black-owned businesses.  EE thanks you for committing to building community centers in under-served black neighborhoods to ensure that our at-risk kids have positive, nurturing environments and outlets to play and grow in.  I send you love and thanks for helping me infuse sheer power and sincere purpose into my life.

Sensual Steps Shoe Salon

Thanks so much Nicole Jones, owner of Sensual Steps Shoe Salon, for being such an awesome inspiration and role model for our girls and our entrepreneurs.  You’ve been around for four years because your store is clean, beautiful, and a pillar in the community.  You insist on using your success to promote other black businesses in the neglected Bronzeville neighborhood of Chicago’s South Side while teaching young women to be entrepreneurs too!

Thank you, we thank all of you, the outstanding entrepreneurs and professionals who step out on faith even though the odds are against you.  We know our future is dependent on your success.  The growing EE nation honors you and pledges to support you.

Other Empowerment Experiment blogs by Maggie Anderson:

Our Choice: To Empower

Maggie Anderson, a business consultant, and her husband, John, a financial advisor, have been buying black made-products and services for all of 2009.  They call their pledge The Empowerment Experiment (EE).  Their experiment will serve as the foundation for a landmark study on self-help economics in the Black community.  They live in Oak Park, Illinois, with their two daughters; Cori 2, and Cara, who is 4.

Sounds good…right?

Many people have violently criticized our pledge, our project (called The Empowerment Experiment or EE) and our overall mission.   Through hate-email, blogs, Facebook, letters to our home, we have been called racists and Nazis, and demeaning, malicious attacks have been lodged against us and our people.

There are those dismayed by EE’s call for blacks to leverage and engender collective consumerism as a solution to our problems… threatened by EE’s blatant refusal to continue to wait and rely on the largesse of others or well-meaning government programs to trickle down… confused by our public and proud choice to support our own genius and products.  Those people have been feeling that way about any call to ‘buy black’ for a long time.

But they’re more fired up now because what really burns them about EE is us.

John, Maggie, Cara and Cori—the Anderson family of Oak Park, ‘Apple Pie’ USA.  We scare and appall them.

 

Maggie Anderson

That people like us could dream up something like this is what’s new and inspirational about our movement.  And sadly, this is precisely what bothers so many about it. We aren’t poor and disenfranchised.  We aren’t ex-offenders reformed in prison.  We are not militant radicals.  My Ivy League husband and I earned six-figure salaries working in corporate America.  We went to white universities and studied with and about good white people.

We don’t fit the black activist profile.

How dare I, a manifestation of the great American Dream, the product of many races and nationalities, preach self-help economics for Black people?

How dare John?  John came from a ‘good’ home in a ‘good’ neighborhood.  John’s father paid for his Harvard education. John even has white friends!

So we aren’t supposed to be offended and distressed.  We shouldn’t be starting movements.  They say we should be humble and grateful, doing everything we can to repay our country for the victory of our lives—not trying to improve America so that there can be more families like ours living that American Dream too.

We’re supposed to do what everyone else does.  You know, shop with the big names and designers instead of with our conscience. Drive over and around the struggling black parts of town. Ignore the plight of their people, the rights of their people, the power of their people—all in exchange for the welcome and cozy embrace of American middle-class life.

We are pretty confident that our girls will get good educations, wonderful opportunities, and grow up to be law-abiding, productive members of society.  This is all that should matter to us.

“What else could they want?” They say.  “Why are they trying to change things???!!!!”

Yes, we do have a wonderful life.  But it’s not enough.  And we’ll throw it all away if it means we could not keep fighting for what’s right.

You know what we really want?  We want to live that wonderful life in a society where our beautiful people are not relegated to the bottom anymore.  So we fight for that.  That’s our fight.  That’s our journey.  That’s our movement and it’s just beginning.

Maggie Anderson, a business consultant, and her husband, John, a financial advisor, have been buying black made-products and services for all of 2009.  They call their pledge The Empowerment Experiment (EE).  Their experiment will serve as the foundation for a landmark study on self-help economics in the Black community.  They live in Oak Park, Illinois, with their two daughters; Cori 2, and Cara, who is 4.

When all is said and done, we have the ability to take control of our own destinies. Yes, there has been oppression, but we have the capability to do for ourselves and achieve success. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.” (Proverbs 13:22)  It is up to us to work hard so that each of us can build an inheritance; not for ourselves, but for each of our own legacies that we will leave behind.

I have thought many of nights about what makes me happy.  As I hit the pillow, I have thought of all the things that are glorified in the world.  I think about superficial wishes and shallow desires which are so often glorified on the television.  “Phat” rides, gold-filled houses, fancy hotels, champagne wishes, caviar dreams, “fly” gators (alligator skin shoes), “bling-bling” jewelry, spinning wheels, rattling trunks, etc.- are all things that it seems society values.

Not me.  I am by no means wealthy by society’s economic standards today, but I am extremely wealthy.  I have a family who supports me, friends to laugh and have fun with, a good church home, and most importantly a growing stronger spiritual connection with God.  When I envision myself in the future, I don’t think about fur coats and Rolls Royce vehicles.  I envision myself as being financially independent, disciplined, a good Christian and a good husband with children who are well behaved, educated, and cultured.  I imagine myself coming home to a nice house where my family and I can all live comfortably – a house that is fully paid for with no mortgage.

I go to see my son play basketball games or my daughter play at band competitions.  I can do this because I own my own business, and I have a flexible schedule.  When my kids go to college their college education funds will be fully funded before we hug and kiss them goodbye.  I will retire comfortably knowing that I don’t have to rely on Social Security.  I will have a trust fund to give to my grandchildren when they go to school.  I know that this will not be given to me, and I understand that I have a lot of hard work ahead of me.  “He who works the land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.” (Proverbs 12:11)  These are the things that I value; this is what I live my life to achieve.

Part 1: Taking The Poverty Out of the People

Part 2: Taking Care of Business

Part 3: Taking Stock of How We Spend

Part 4: Taking Control of Our Destinies

Ryan Mack is the president of Optimum Capital Managment LLC

Why is a new car so important to us?  Does a new car proclaim to the world that we have achieved financial success? Earl Graves Jr., CEO of Black Enterprise, said, “Blacks on the average are six times more likely then whites to buy a Mercedes, and the average income of a black who buys a Jaguar is about one-third less than that of a white purchaser of the luxury vehicle.”  There are those of us who can save to buy rims, but struggle to put their children through college.  If I were to give you a stock tip to buy 10,000 shares of a stock at $2, and told you in advance that the stock would be worth $1.50 tomorrow, would you buy it?  Why is so much of our money going into depreciating assets?  Furthermore, would you take out a loan to buy that stock?  Many of us are going deeper into debt everyday in order to buy these assets that lose 25% or more of their value as soon as we take them from the vendor.  Are you rich because you have a nice car? Is it so important to prove your net worth to others that you are more concerned about your nice car or fancy watch than your children? Yes, I said it! It is our children who are suffering from this irresponsible behavior.  The typical millionaire has never spent more than $399 for a suit, $140 for a pair of shoes, or $235 for a wristwatch (stats according to The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko).  “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.” (Proverbs 21:20)

When I was in school, many of my friends, black like me, were there with borrowed money. With my other friends I couldn’t understand how they so readily afforded college. I now refer to them as the “trust fund babies” and as you can probably guess, few of them were black. This behavior must stop. Many African Americans are more concerned with what we are wearing, what we are driving and where we are eating, than what we are leaving behind for our children.  Why are some of us more concerned with material wealth than with establishing trust funds for our children? What inheritance is your child going to be left if you are forever increasing debt and spending money frivolously?

It is also unpleasing to me to hear why people won’t support our own businesses. However, I can’t fault the argument that one can’t support what is not there. According to “Black Economics: Solutions for Economic and Community Empowerment” by Jawanza Kunjufu, the business ownership ratio per thousand people is, “107 Lebanese, 93 Syrians, 89 Koreans, 65 Japanese, 64 White, 60 Chinese, 30 Columbians, 21 Jamaicans, 17 Hispanics, and 9 African-Americans.” Why do we often appear to take more pride in the company we work for, then working for ourselves? Why are we so afraid to step out of our comfort zones provided by somebody else, and take a chance? Why are we so content to “just get by” and be comfortable? Are you so dependent on that job that if you were laid off you wouldn’t know how to deal with it? Have you referred to your job as a plantation (I have heard that many times)?  “[Y]ou were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.” (I Corinthians 7:23)

Part 1: Taking The Poverty Out of the People

Part 2: Taking Care of Business

Part 3: Taking Stock of How We Spend

Part 4: Taking Control of Our Destinies

Ryan Mack is the president of Optimum Capital Management LLC