In what would seem to most like an unlikely coupling, R&B singer Tyrese Gibson, 34, and the ever-inspiring Joseph “Rev. Run” Simmons, 48, have turned a disagreement into an enterprising labor of love. Their new book, Manology: Secrets of Your Man’s Mind Revealed, offers an honest, uncut and raw look at … well, the mysteries of the Mars sex.
But don’t compare it to Steve Harvey’s popular tome. This book spills the tea on how women can better understand their men relationship-wise, but reads more like a conversation you might hear in a barbershop between that wise, cool uncle and the charming young boss on the come-up.
“Rev is my best friend in the whole world. … He and his family have become my family. So our relationship goes beyond the book. The idea of us writing the book was actually a selfless act of God,” Tyrese says.
BlackEnterprise.com talked with the two men on how this latest collab expands their brands, why a read like this is relevant among a sea of how-to-understand-your-boo books, and how ‘man-torships’ can lead to life-changing movements.
BlackEnterprise.com: Rev. Run, we all know your brand via television, your journey from Run DMC to reverend to family man. How does a book collab like this change the game a bit?
Rev. Run: It definitely brings a different twist to my brand of mentoring people in relationships and mentoring them through my television show. Tyrese is a very brilliant man. … He’s smart, forward-thinking and he’s on Twitter, with millions of followers. He speaks the truth all day long. He’s not your average celebrity tweeter; He’s tweeting to help people. … He does voice-over diaries where he teaches people wonderful things about how to guide their lives. He had a book called ‘How to Get Out of Your Own Way,’ so he’s obviously a great match for me. ….We share some of the same values. … This book is a very exciting journey for me.
Tyrese, your brand has expanded from R&B crooner and actor to author and speaker. How specifically were you able to transition and gain the amazing support and following you have?
It was always about timing. … I knew I wanted to do multiple things and make use of God’s gifts to inspire and motivate people through success. [As a celebrity] you send a message through success without being on a podium and preaching. … Through my success, that’s happened over the years. I’ve never claimed to be the biggest star, but I’ve just been doing my thing, and I’ve been doing it consistently. I’ve just been trying to transition from one world to the next, keep using my gifts and having fun. And here we are now with Manology.
The premise of the book evolved after a mentorship (or ‘man-torship’) relationship was developed. Talk a bit about how you two came together and the importance of men having man-tors.
Rev. Run: Tyrese actually came to me via email, [Words of Wisdom], and he saw something I wrote and responded to a Word he was not comfortable with at the moment. And he didn’t realize I was going to personally respond. I said, ‘This is Tyrese?
Call me.’ We chopped it up, and at the end of the conversation we were laughing, and I said, ‘We have so many things—talking about this woman situation and how we felt about it—we should just make a book called I Beg to Differ.’ … We left off laughing and we hung up the phone. … After that conversation, we just became friends and [decided to] go a little further with this book idea, get an agent and tell him about this book. The agent said, ‘That doesn’t sound like something that’s going to be good.’ So we just dropped it and left it alone, but [took the concept] to Twitter, writing these tweets every day called ‘Manology.’ It got such a huge following, that the next thing you know, we had people approaching agents without even telling us … After that it went from a bidding war to an auction.
Manology gets into advising women on how men think when it comes to relationships. Why do a book geared to women vs. talking to the fellow men?
Tyrese: Rev said earlier, there are way more women in church on Sunday than men, and when it comes to reading books, research has shown that women are faster to pick up a book than men. … Women are more interested in learning and knowing and understanding men to the point of wanting to read books like Steve Harvey’s Think Like a Man, Men are From Mars Women are From Venus, the
Iyanla Vanzant books, and books that Oprah Winfrey recommends in her book club. There’s millions of women out there buying books… What’s gonna surprise people about Manology is that we have a lot of things we’re directing at men specifically, even to the point of saying, ‘Ladies, if you’re in a relationship, you got your husband, and he’s over in the next room, I need you to put the book down, and go give [the message] to your man right now because this message is for him.’Steve Harvey, and the success that he had with his book, really created an audience and a fanbase for these types of books. And what Steve Harvey said the other day, when we interviewed with him in Chicago, is his book touched the surface of advice, information and insight, and me and Rev went all the way and took this information to uncomfortable grounds and pushed the envelop in a major way.
We really feel a responsibility to make women aware of what they don’t know. They know a lot, but we have a responsibility to give women a heads up on what’s around the corner before they get there.
Tyrese, in the book you also talk about validation, and how many men need it. With many women moving higher, career-wise, than men (going to college at higher rates, etc.) how do you respond to power women who feel like men should just step up to the plate, catch up, and support them?
I think when it comes to women … You don’t want your success, the money you’re making, the education you have, the goals and the missions that you have in life to become a repellent—like bug spray—to get rid of all men. Your confidence should be an extension of your success, but it shouldn’t be to the point where you’re intimidating men from even wanting to approach you. What I’ve learned is, the women who create this facade, it’s more of a defense mechanism to keep the bullsh** away. [As a man,] when you’re able to see through that, if you end up having one or two conversations, you realize that’s a part of their defense mechanism, because they’ve been hurt so many times, so if you can’t see through the confidence, and the repellent—the bug spray, so to speak— then you may miss out on your wife. … [A successful woman] is already intimidating out the gate because you have so many amazing and powerful things going. A man needs to feel needed.
Manology is about saying we have a problem with what women don’t know. The things you do know, congratulations. We love that you know it, but we want to help you in whatever way we can, as men who both have daughters … We want to protect you, guard your heart, and help you to translate things you may not understand about men.