Dear Fairygodmentor®
I’m not being laid off—but I’m also not being promoted, challenged, or included like I used to be. I feel invisible. Am I overthinking this, or am I being quietly sidelined?
—Stuck in the Middle
Dear Stuck in the Middle,
Not all career setbacks are super obvious, complete with a meeting invite and a severance package. You’re in the in-between grief of work. This is career limbo, where there’s no clear feedback, and you’re not really clear about what your future holds. Sometimes the loudest message that a workplace can send you is silence.
Let’s just call it what it is: The Quiet Sidelining Phenomenon
This workplace behavior is not due to the recent layoffs you may have survived, nor to any performance issues (because you have been meeting and exceeding expectations like a rockstar). It’s that slow, insidious removal from visibility, opportunity, and influence. You’re not wrong for feeling like something is off. I’m sure that you’re feeling confused, doubting yourself at every turn, and hustling hard to the point of overwork to “earn” your visibility back.
The Signs You’re Not Imagining It (A Reality Check Without Panic)
Here are some red flags to look out for:
• Others are being given stretch assignments or promotions around you
• Feedback you’ve received (if you’re even getting it anymore) has become vague, inconsistent, or just plain nonexistent
• You’re busy but not advancing
Being busy isn’t the same as being invested in. If you feel like your Career Growth Well has run dry, it’s time for you to be proactive and take action.
Before You Spiral Out of Control, Do a Power Audit
You need to reclaim your power. Ask the following questions to ground yourself:
• What’s actually changed versus what feels different?
• Who controls access to opportunity in your organization?
• When was the last time you clearly advocated for yourself?
The reason I’m asking you to reflect on these Power Audit questions is that silence from leadership doesn’t always mean rejection. But it does require some interpretation on your end.
Next Steps to Take Action and Reclaim Your Power
1. Initiate a Career Clarity Conversation
You are in the driver’s seat of your career. If your car is stalled out on the road or you need help with directions, refer to your GPS (your manager). Some impactful questions to ask:
• “I’d love to understand how you see me here over the next 6-12 months.”
• “What would career advancement look like for someone in my role?”
• “Where should I be focusing to stay aligned with the team’s priorities?”
The key to remember is that you’re not asking for permission, you’re gathering feedback. Feedback is merely data. This is a time to find clarity and alignment. I would also
advise you to bring your receipts to this clarity conversation. If your manager calls any of your performance into question, you can show your accomplishments to support any data you receive that’s not aligned with the reality of your output.2. Re-Establish Visibility Strategically
Down with hustle culture! Contrary to some folks’ belief, you can increase your visibility whether you’re inside or outside of the concrete walls of an office building. I highly suggest that you have 1-on-1 meetings with your manager to keep them regularly up to date on your progress. This will ensure that you’re not just working harder, you’re working louder and smarter. You can’t just do the work and hope that everyone figures it out through osmosis. Put yourself out there for stretch assignments that are aligned with your goals and the company’s priorities. Reconnect with the decision makers. Don’t keep those 1-on-1 conversations just for your direct manager; skip a level or two. You may find a mentor or sponsor in these connections. I still keep in touch with my skip-level sponsors regularly, 20 years later.
3. Stop Waiting for Validation That May Never Come
If you’ve taken steps to show your value, stayed in constant contact with your manager about priorities, and you’re still stuck in Neutral, you may want to think about moving on. As my late father used to tell me, “When they stop promoting you, it’s time to leave.” You might want to consider moving internally within the organization or exploring external opportunities. If your environment can’t see your value, it may not be designed to help you grow it, either.
4. Build Your Exit Strategies Without Panic
Get your “career house” in order. Update that DIG (Damn I’m Good) folder. Create a Career Scenario log that captures all your stories and situations, providing hiring managers with results-based data on how your past performance could predict future behavior. Reconnect NOW with your network before you’re actively looking for work. Keep your connections warm. And it doesn’t hurt to explore your options before the urgency to leave hits you, or when you’re forced to leave.
5. Shift Your Mindset
As En Vogue used to sing, “Free Your Mind! And the rest will follow!” It’s time for you to shift from “What’s wrong with me?!” to “What is this environment showing me?” It’s time to reclaim your power. Your career isn’t happening to you. You need to take the wheel and get in that driver’s seat. You’re not stuck, my friend. You’re being informed.
If they’ve gone radio silent on your growth, that’s not your cue to shrink; that’s your cue to strive for clarity.
You got this!
Yours truly,
Your Fairygodmentor®
About Joyel Crawford:
Joyel Crawford is an award-winning career and leadership development professional and founder of Crawford Leadership Strategies, a consultancy that empowers results-driven leaders through coaching, training, and facilitation. She’s the best-selling author of Show Your Ask: Using Your Voice to Advocate for Yourself and Your Career.
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