Move Beyond the Hustle: The Myths of Networking

I am constantly amazed by the mistakes that people make when it comes to networking.  Every day, I receive an email, a Facebook message or a Tweet (www.twitter.com/marshawnevans) from someone asking me for something.  I love being in a position to give, to advise, and to help.  The reality, however, is that I can only do so much.  The real challenge is that requests come from people I do not know.

Giving a business card does not mean we now have a connection, certainly not a real relationship.  A relationship implies reciprocity–more of a give-and-take, mutually-beneficial kind of thing.  Networking is not about the number of business cards you have.  It is about what you do with them, and how you do it.

In my book, SKIRTS in the Boardroom: A Woman’s Survival Guide to Success in Business & Life (Wiley 2008), I have an entire chapter dedicated to networking called “Connections: Do Shorter SKIRTS Ever Hurt?”  As a Reinvention Strategistâ„¢, I firmly believe that you cannot change your outcomes unless you change your outlook.  Success is only as sustainable as the strength of your relationships.  The key to reinventing your success begins with reinventing and renewing your relationships–or at least your approach.

My point: You must be careful when asking for a hook-up.  It often makes people think that you are trying to hustle them. Why?  A hustler always wants something from someone.  This is difficult for hungry entrepreneurs to appreciate, but it is critical to understand nonetheless.  Asking for help does not mean that you are being deceitful, but you probably are not earning points either.

Networking strategically is one of the most effective tools for career enhancement. For men and women alike, it requires patience, persistence, and savvy insight to bypass the most common pitfalls.  Here are three common myths when it comes to networking.

Myth #1: It is “who you know” that determines where you go.
False!  That thought is only partially true.  Ultimately, where you go is about your ability to expand “who you know” by networking. Plus, it is about how well you know “who you know,” what the “who you know” says about you, and how much the “who-you-know” trusts you!

Myth #2: Networking is a numbers game.
Wrong!  Trying to meet as many people as possible is a faulty approach.  True networking is about quality, not quantity.  Anyone can collect a ton of business cards. Strategic networking is about establishing quality relationships.

Myth #3: Networking is about finding others who can help you reach your goals.
Yet another mistake!  Effective networking is a give-and-take process.  Notice the word give comes before take.  The more you give of yourself, your time, and your expertise, the more others will want to pour back into your life and career as well.

Now that you know the common myths, here are some reinvention strategies and tips that you can use to be more effective moving forward.

Tip #1: Value People.
Everyone you meet has something to offer. Most people

tend to engage in what I call “stuck-up networking” – meaning you tend to only talk to those you think are important or worthy of your time.  Sowing seeds into the lives of others opens up doors and leads to key referrals.  You never know where the next fantastic opportunity will come from.

Tip #2: Know Your Brand.
The real key to strategic networking is being able to listen to the needs of others.  From there you strategically respond by sharing relevant information about your brand and your abilities to meet those needs.  The finesse comes in presenting your assets without appearing pushy.

Tip #3: Start slowly.
When you first meet someone, the objective is to get to know that person and learn more about that individual’s business or industry.  The goal is not to get something.  Never start a conversation with someone by saying, “I want to pick your brain.”  That, my friends, is ‘taker’ talk.  Wise networkers give.  Asking for too much too soon is like trying to get married after the first date.  Plus, I do not want my brain “picked” — that sounds traumatic.  I don’t mind sharing insight, but please, no picking!

Tip #4: Be Ready.
Remember, networking is not a onetime event.  You should be ready to connect with people and to find mutual synergies wherever you go.

For additional insight, pick-up your copy of SKIRTS in the Boardroom–it is also available for download on Kindle.  Click here to sign-up for my free ME Unlimited® e-Newsletter featuring daily “Motivate ME” affirmations and reinvention advice, and you can follow me on Twitter for quick tips.

It’s your turn now.  Share your networking tips and faux-pas with us.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Reinvention Strategist™ Marshawn Evans is a former Miss America beauty queen turned Donald Trump Apprentice, turned Georgetown University trained sports & entertainment lawyer who equips the motivated to live without limits.  She is Founder of ME Unlimited, a management consulting and performance strategy firm.