Think Like a Woman … Manage Your Money Like a Man

When Creshinda Clark drove away from the car dealership in her new Dodge Journey, she had no idea that $5,000 worth of bills, monthly trips to the service center, and asthma-like breathing problems were in her future.

As the CEO of House 2 Home, a Los Angeles-based nonprofit transitional housing organization for women, Clark needed a reliable vehicle for transporting clients to and from daily appointments. Within months of the purchase, Clark says a foul odor from the vehicle’s air conditioning vents left her and passengers gagging. Over the next year, Clark says she took the vehicle back to the dealership’s service center seven times–for the same problem.

On every visit Clark was told the vehicle’s air conditioning system was the problem. Since purchasing the car, she says she has shelled out $5,000 for repairs, rentals, and attorney fees. A lawyer is now handling her case under California’s “lemon law,” which requires dealers to replace or refund new warranted vehicles that they’ve been unable to service or repair within a reasonable amount of time. Clark says she blames herself for not being more assertive after the first few trips to the service center. “If I’d been a man, or just had a man with me at the dealership,” she says, “things would have turned out differently.”

The problem–which is now being addressed via legal means–was finally identified properly as a leaking transfer case. “A friend of mine told me that once I returned a new car with the same problem several times I’d be able to get a new one, but I didn’t listen,” says Clark. “I just kept taking the car in, hoping that it would be fixed the right way; it never happened.”

The Financial Gender Gap
Clark’s situation isn’t unique. When it comes to finances women often wind up with the short end of the stick, whether the issue is salary, investing, big-ticket purchases, or family finances. Often taken advantage of financially, women find themselves paying higher fees for products and services, earning less than their male counterparts, and unable to support themselves through retirement.

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Take salaries for example. According to sociologist Mariko Chang, women’s earnings are currently at about 78% of men’s, yet females own just 36% as much wealth as males. Single black and Hispanic women own a penny of wealth for every dollar owned by men of their race, according to Chang, and they own a fraction of a penny compared to white men. Chang says that because the racial inequalities are entangled with gender, “unless the gender wealth gap closes, the racial wealth gap cannot close.”

The fact that women live an average of five years longer than men, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and spend around 13 fewer years than men in the paid workforce, according to the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement, creates additional financial pressures. The Government Accountability Office reports that 12% of women over age 65 are living in poverty, compared with only 7% of men. The numbers increase to 21% for divorced women and 15% for widows.

Betty LaMarr, an executive coach in Los Angeles, knows what it’s like to be taken advantage of financially. Years ago, while working at a major corporation, LaMarr was excited about a job promotion to mid-level management but says she never had the chance to discuss a related salary increase. Her boss didn’t mention it, so she didn’t either. “Money never came up,” recalls LaMarr, who became the first black female to earn a mid-level management position at the firm.

It didn’t take LaMarr long  to realize that many of her employees (most of whom were men) were making higher salaries than she was. LaMarr approached her boss about the problem six months into her new position. “I was setting salaries for my own employees so I gathered that information and showed him that I was due for a 25% raise [compared to the typical 5% annual increase],” says LaMarr. “He realized that the job warranted it, so I got the raise.”

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How to Unleash Your Inner “Alpha Female”
If you’ve ever found yourself in the same position as Clark or LaMarr–unable to negotiate on your own behalf or assert yourself financially–it’s time to tap into your inner alpha female and meet the challenges head-on.

Here are five ways to accomplish that goal:

Don’t be afraid of being labeled as aggressive or a “bitch” when it comes to financial negotiations and decisions. Whether dealing with a spouse, a financial planner, or an overzealous car salesman, women are quick to back down, follow the advice of others, and make money-related decisions that aren’t always in their own best interest. Dawnna St. Louis, a Ft. Lauderdale, Florida-based professional speaker, presentation coach, and author, wants women to unleash their inner “alpha female” personalities and to worry less about what people think of  them. “Being bold, audacious, and unapologetic about what you want doesn’t make you a bitch,” says St. Louis. “It makes you a woman who makes sure she gets what she wants.”

To become that woman, St. Louis says the first step is to remove the emotion and any personal words such as, “You want,” “I need,” or “It’s for me.” Negotiations are not personal, she says, and should remain focused on the service or product in question. Negotiating a contract or salary and up against resistance? Use phrases such as, “Let’s talk about the value that your company will get from the services and how we can negotiate a mutually beneficial contract,” or “I’m very interested in this position and obviously your company is very interested in me; let’s discuss an agreement and the appropriate salary for this position.”

Be sure to point out the value that the firm will be getting in return for the desired salary level by discussing your experience, education, past accomplishments, and other highlights. “Remember that if you’ve made it to the point where you are negotiating salary, the employer wants you,” says St. Louis. “Use that to your advantage.”

Come to the table having done your homework, whether you are buying a car, negotiating a salary, or hiring a contractor. Women can enhance their financial status by simply saving money through smarter negotiations. Buying vehicles, saving for retirement, or negotiating with home remodeling contractors doesn’t have to be daunting if you come into the situation prepared and educated, says Robin Young, a certified financial planner and president of Women Behaving Wealthy in New York.

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Take that new car, for example. Figure out exactly how much you can afford to pay by

taking your annual net salary (roughly $65,000 for someone earning $100,000 per year), then allocating 10% for your car note, or $542 per month. The total cost of the car, including insurance and fuel, should take up no more than 12% to 15% of your income, Young says.

Use resources such as Kelley Blue Book or Edmunds, both of which feature calculators for figuring out what you can afford to pay (down payment, interest, fees, and monthly payments) for new and used cars. “Break your numbers down and do the online research and you’ll go into the dealership knowing exactly what you can afford, and what you want,” says Young. “When you get face-to-face with a salesperson, you’ll come from a place of power and be able to negotiate on your behalf much more effectively.”

Use your natural decision—making and problem—solving skills to your advantage. Stacey Tisdale, financial journalist and  co-author of The True Cost of Happiness: The Real Story Behind Managing Your Money (Wiley; $24.95), says historical male and female roles contribute to those negative financial statistics. Through self-empowerment and education she says women can learn how to be more confident in just about any financial situation. “We have to embrace our strengths, connect with who we are, and bring those attributes into the financial aspect of our lives,” says Tisdale.

Start by parlaying your problem-solving skills into a smarter investment plan. Increasing current retirement plan contribution levels by just a few percentage points, for example, will result in a larger nest egg. “Even the individual who is living paycheck to paycheck can gain ground by increasing contributions by 1%,” Young says. For someone earning $50,000 annually the additional $500 yearly investment will translate into about $14,000 within 15 years, according to Young, and nearly $37,000 within 25 years. “That’s a pretty significant chunk.”

When in doubt, consider the financial advice that you’d give your children–even if you don’t have any. “Think about the most important things you’d want to teach your children about money,” says Tisdale, “and then walk your own walk by using that advice in your own life.” For example, what would you say to a daughter who was earning less money than her male counterparts?

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Come up with your own answers–then follow them yourself. “We tell our kids to save 25% for rainy days, but then we spend 125% of our own paychecks before we get them,” says St. Louis, who advises women to follow the advice given to her by her grandmother:  always use cash and avoid racking up credit card bills. “I learned at an early age that if something costs more than my cash will cover then I probably don’t need it anyway,” says St. Louis. “If it’s worth having I’ll save up for it.”

Advocate for yourself just as you would for others. Awaken your alpha female by discussing financial decisions with spouses and/or partners; educating yourself before purchasing cars, homes, and other big-ticket items; and learning as much as you can about investing and retirement. “Get to the point where you are meaningfully engaged in the conversation and engrossed in the situation, not just standing on the fringe,” Young says.

If bringing up financial topics with your spouse is uncomfortable, stick to the facts and keep emotions out of the conversations, says Young, who works with a high percentage of male clients who not only exclude their wives from important financial issues, but who also retain numerous assets in their own names.

Avoid this trap by advocating on your own behalf. Demand to be included in meetings with financial planners or investment professionals; ask questions and give input on big-ticket purchases; and develop your own vision for wealth and retirement. Use resources such as Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement, Women’s Institute for Financial Education, or Citigroup Inc.’s Women & Co. to educate yourself. Then sit down and discuss your vision, questions, and concerns with your spouse.

If, for example, you see that 70% of your portfolio comprises equities, and if you’re unsure of exactly what that means, take the time to study up on equities and on proper portfolio balancing. “Educate yourself to the point where you can have a meaningful conversation with your husband,” says Young, who has served as a mediator for many couples in such situations. “Get engaged in the situation and be ready to contribute.”