I recently had an awesome dinner with a new professional contact, and after getting business out of the way, we went on to girl talk— ie. dating and men. As we both told our stories of wonder and woe (LOL), the topic of work-life balance when it comes to one’s career and love life was a hot one.
“Men will focus on their studies and advancing their careers, and make settling down with a woman an afterthought, while many women fret about finding a man first and foremost,” I said. My dinner buddy laughed, adding that while a man is working out at the gym, taking power dinners and completing advanced studies, a woman will sit at home after work wondering why he hasn’t called or text her. She’ll spend her lunch hour wondering why the guy is paying her little mind, and the man will keep it moving, prioritizing career and financial fulfillment over love, she added.
I’ve had discussions with my brother and other men in my family, who all focused on getting their paper (whether money or degree) before even thinking about taking any woman romantically serious. They’d always say, “Focus on the books, not the boys. Don’t make the mistake of getting caught up in love before taking care of what’s important.”
In my own personal life, I’ve noticed that most successful men typically prioritize business over impromptu dates or wooing. When they’ve got all their ducks in a row, only then do they even think about getting married or attached to one woman.
Many of us ladies want it all—and all right now— but I think we could learn a thing or two from the male approach to work-life balance and positioning. Here are the takeaways I’ve found to be true that could ensure you’re spending less time waiting by the phone and more time making power moves of your own.
1. Always prioritize getting yourself right first. True, dating is fun, and having a companion is a healthy desire, but many women put too much emphasis and energy into this too early. If you’re a young woman, these are prime years to get your money up, position yourself for bigger and better opportunities, and really get to know yourself. Take the time to do that, and don’t compromise when it comes to first-things-first. Maybe along the way you’ll meet The One, but until then, stay on your grind and focus on self.
2. If you have time to worry about trivial things, you’re not busy enough. I always believe if I have time to fret about something not that serious— especially when it comes to dating— I need to be spending my time more wisely. Get out there and start doing things. Join an organization, volunteer, exercise or take up a side hustle. It’s always attractive when a woman has a life of her own and is excelling. He shouldn’t be the only one cancelling dates to work late or fly out of town on business. The more you invest in activities that enrich you and expand your network, the better off you’ll be.
3. Do as much as you can to enhance your relationship marketability as possible. Many men make boss moves not only for their own satisfaction and wealth, but ultimately to be attractive to any woman of their choosing. What do you bring to the table? Are you smart, innovative, creative, successful? Can you bring skills to a relationship that will help ensure its longevity?
What are your thoughts on balancing advancement of love vs. career? #SoundOff and hit me up on Twitter @JPHazelwood.