It’s happened to us all. Whether we admit or not, we’ve all had the experience of getting our feelings hurt at work. A lot of times, it is our direct supervisor who is usually the culprit. Sometimes it’s our co-workers, but nonetheless the experience is humiliating. Emotions are a touchy subject mainly because we all like to act like we don’t have any or they don’t effect us. The truth is as research shows, a majority of humans walk around with so much emotional baggage that at any given point, a person could have a breakdown. As a Life Coach, I like to connect with clients on an emotional level because it allows me AND them to see just how deep emotions go. Moreover, it reveals to us that emotions are running the show whether we realize it or not. To be a success in business and life, you need to have a sense of emotional health and intelligence. Here, I provide some easy tips for how to process and manage emotions while at work.
Acknowledge. The first step to processing emotions is experiencing an emotional trigger. Acknowledging, believe it or not, is one of the hardest stages in emotional processing. It is mainly because as humans, we rarely like to admit that someone hurt our feelings. Furthermore, we don’t like to be that vulnerable. A practical example is taking a moment and saying to yourself or even out loud (quietly) that your emotions are triggered.
Identify. Next, identify what exactly triggered the emotions. This takes time. You will need to take a moment to pinpoint exactly the moment you felt a certain way. Don’t over think this stage. You must know with certainty what caused the shift. Identify the moment and write it down.
Name. Name the emotion you feel. It’s extremely important to be emotionally intelligent and have a proper emotional vocabulary. We must be able to call something by name because it allows us to distinguish between emotions, and that creates a sense of power. Being able to say you feel marginalized is a lot more powerful than saying you feel hurt (too general). The more specific you can be with the naming of the emotion, the better your processing will be.
Review. Go over the previous steps and make sure you are certain about what has taken place. This is key because after you review or examine, you have a moment of clarity that either affirms how you feel or gives you a different perspective. This stage is vital because too often individuals fly off the handle, and that leads to dire consequences. Take the time to review and reflect.
Action. This is stage were you decide what you’re going to do about what has happened and how you feel. Moreover, the action stage is where we decide to respond (always) to the situation. So if this means you have to confront someone, you’ve taken the time to process and calm yourself down. You’ve also assessed the situation and have clarity to proceed with your approach.
Remember we have the ability to not only change our world, but the world as a whole. Be great!
Until Next Time, Pervis
Pervis Taylor, III is an author, life coach, speaker, and contributor. His books Pervis Principles Volumes 1 and 2 are available exclusively on his website:PervisTaylor.com/author. He is the creator of the inspiration/life coaching app, I-Inspire, available for iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touch via PervisTaylor.com/I-Inspire/. He resides in New York City. Follow him @pervistaylor on Twitter and on Facebook.com/pervistaylor3