Conflict Management: How To Have Difficult Conversations

Conflict Management: How To Have Difficult Conversations

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve either been the recipient or had the painstaking duty of initiating a difficult conversation. Whether in business or even in your personal life, difficult conversations come with the territory. For many, confrontation is an anxiety-ridden, arduous task. We often avoid confrontation out of fear, not wanting to look bad and because its seems overwhelming.

Here’s a fact: It is better to address an issue as it arises sooner rather than later. Too often we sweep those difficult conversations under the rug.  Unfortunately, the simple matter all of sudden becomes this huge elephant in the room. The end result is often more tragic than it has to be. To avoid such pitfalls, here are some quick tips and insights I’d like to share as a Life Coach on how to have difficult conversations.

Change your mind set regarding confrontation. Confrontation is NOT a negative word. Moreover, in order to have healthy viable relationships we must be able to speak up when issues arise. We settle for the passive-aggressive mindset which in the end always does more damage than good.

Remember silence gives consent. We often are afraid to speak up because we fear that we may lose the relationship. However, the longer we remain silent about a problem we  have with others, we are unknowingly giving them permission to continue to act in unacceptable ways.

Look for the Win/Win. No matter if you are right in the matter, look for a way where both parties benefit. It’s not about being right. Instead it’s about being righteous. Look for a teachable moment to be shared between the both of you. If the end result is a dissolved relationship, then at least both parties can walk away with tools to grow.

Check your attitude. Have the right attitude and approach. Your attitude determines your approach which will ultimately lead to success or failure. Take some time to really check your emotions and attitude. It’s important to know that folks listen to how a message is delivered more often than the message itself. You always win when you have a peaceful and calming approach.

Remember we have the ability to not only change our world, but the world as a whole … BE GREAT!!

Until Next Time,


Pervis Taylor, III is an Author, Life Coach, Speaker and Contributor. His books Pervis Principles Volume 1 and 2 are available exclusively on his website: He is the creator of the inspiration/life coaching mobile app, I-Inspire, available for iPhones, iPad and iPod Touch via: He resides in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @pervistaylor or Facebook