Black Women Are Unapologetically Tapping Into their ‘Soft Life’ Energy in 2023

Black Women Are Unapologetically Tapping Into their ‘Soft Life’ Energy in 2023

Black women are moving past wearing a badge of honor for being strong, and resilient. Now they are tapping into their ‘soft’ side.

Recent trends have reimagined the soft life as an attainable lifestyle where Black women can unapologetically enjoy a comfortable and low-stress life, doing the things that make them happy.


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♬ original sound – Atiya

According to Insider, the soft life aesthetic surfaced from the Nigerian influencer community, in an effort to imagine the separation from the realities of Black women’s labor.

One lifestyle blogger, who identifies as Brittany on TikTok, and a pioneer of the ‘soft life’ trend for Black women, posted in March 2022 about her feelings on the strong black girl narrative.

Nicole Jenkins, an assistant professor of sociology at Howard University described the soft life as the journey of prioritizing self needs unapologetically.

“Everybody understands self-care, but Black women generally have had a difficult time because they’re often prioritizing other folks’ needs over themselves. It’s a new rendition of self-care that is really unapologetically prioritizing what it is that we need in rejection of this strong Black woman narrative that so many of us have been cultured into really adopting.”

Jenkins confirmed that channeling the soft life is achievable with simple gestures such as giving yourself time to pause, saying kind words to yourself, and uplifting yourself.

“What they’re trying to do with that narrative is opt into femininity that is generally reserved for white women. Black women historically have not been able to get access to this version of womanhood because of slavery,” said Shamora Drummond, a sociology graduate student at University of California Los Angeles.

Drummond believes there is a possibility for the soft life narrative to backfire, warning about embracing a stereotypical image.

“…There still are Black women that have characteristics of the strong Black woman, for various, valid reasons, and now feel like they can’t enjoy the perks of a ‘soft life,'” Drummond said.

Kaya Nova, a Black woman musician, posted a message highlighting some of the hardships transforming to the soft life.

Devyn Walker, a Dallas-based licensed professional counselor who specializes in working with Black women dealing with trauma, believes the trend is beneficial and expands beyond TikTok, identifying Black women who have sought out therapy and driven conversations surrounding mental health within their communities as a significant factor.

“It greatly helps our mental health. It helps us create lives that we enjoy and love regardless of what stress is thrown our way,” Walker said.

“Even if you look at it more so on a community level, we are literally breaking generational curses.” Walker added.

“It’s getting us to the point where we are acknowledging that we don’t want the struggle life. We don’t want the struggle love, we don’t want the struggle job, we don’t want any of that,” she said.

“We want to live a life of ease. And I think we should be able to do that considering the generations and generations of trauma that our community has endured,” Walker said.


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The soft life looks different for every woman. Whether it’s traveling the world, making luxury purchases, or embracing hobbies that give you a peace of mind, putting yourself first is the key priority.