How to Deal When you Make More Money Than Your Mate

How much, if at all does a gap in salary make a difference in relationships? The conversation is generally more focused towards the professional women who have increased their earning potential and power.

Within the past 3 weeks, I’ve heard following statements multiple times from several of my friends, “Men seem to be intimidated by me because I make more money than they do. Why is this the case? What can I do about it?”

I wish I had a silver-bullet antidote to cure the frustration experienced by women who find themselves in this endless loop. In lieu of an antidote, I’ll offer the following tips:

1. Perform an Internal Analysis — Make sure you are not using your superior salary position as a weapon against the men you come in contact with. No one wants to feel inferior, especially when most men believe one of their roles is to be a provider!

2. Expand Your Personal Network of People — Birds of a feather flock together holds true in many cases. In order to meet people who work in similar professions as you, it may be necessary to network with other people in parallel fields. Being active in your local church, civic group, or sorority doesn’t necessarily position you to meet others who are in alignment with you professionally. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but many religious and civic organizations have a variety of members, which means you have more people to navigate through. In order to increase the potential to cross paths with those on similar financial levels, be open to diversifying your network.

3. Recognize Signs of Insecurity — When coaching or sharing insight with women who have come against resistance from men regarding gaps in salary, I remind them that this is a sign of insecurity and low self-confidence within the man. I then follow-up with the question, “Do you really want to be with someone who allows something so simple to keep them from being the leader they’re called to be?” If the answer is no, then move on to the next one!

4. People Make Relationships…Not Money — When it’s all said and done, people are the primary success factors in relationships, not money. If money becomes too much of a focus, remind him that money can be taken away. Relationships are based on two people interacting for a greater purpose. If he doesn’t understand this principle, refer back to #3.

What are your thoughts?

Kenny Pugh is a Life & Relationship Strategist, Author of ‘Can You Do It Standing Up?’, Speaker, Host of the Chat Kafe Radio Show, singles leader and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, finances and life. You can find more information about Kenny at You can follow him on Facebook at Kenny Pugh or on Twitter @mrkennypugh.