Everyday, couples decide to go their separate ways after experiencing infidelity.
Recently, actress Nia Long dominated the headlines after her fiance, Boston Celtics head coach Ime Udoka, had an affair with a woman within the organization.
Infidelity is nothing new, of course. For decades, the world has witnessed celebrity relationship scandals like Udoka’s cause their marriages to fall by the wayside. For some couples, ending a marriage is an easy and swift decision. For others, business ties play a major factor beyond the personal partnership.
“Lovepreneurs” Demetrius and Dhayany Walker have created a platform to coach entrepreneurial couples on the importance of having both net worth and love worth. The millionaire couple developed the patented formula to provide their community with success in relationships.
The Walkers target entrepreneurship and love through business techniques, networking relationships, key systems and strategies for maintaining a business through personal conflicts. The Walkers are experienced professionals in the relationship industry and 88% of the married couples with memberships are presently involved in successful, forward-moving partnerships.
BLACK ENTERPRISE spoke with the Lovepreneurs about their story and their 5 key tips on how to maintain a business relationship with your partner after experiencing personal betrayal.
Tell us about your love story.
In 2001, we met through a mutual friend that insisted we were perfect for each other. Although we were both attracted to each other, we remained friends for years. Coincidentally, in 2007, we both were going through a breakup. We saw each other at a famous lounge in Philadelphia and have been inseparable ever since.
At the time, I just graduated from Temple University and was a consultant for a huge Fortune 500 company. My husband, Demetrius, was an entrepreneur, real estate investor, a used car dealer, and owned an auto body shop.
I was intrigued by the fact that Demetrius had the freedom to create and work on his own time. So, I wanted to learn more about entrepreneurship, and he was willing to teach me. One da,y I remember overhearing an investment opportunity he had for flipping cars and I wanted to be a part. Therefore, I decided to invest $10,000 into his business. This decision took faith because we were still just dating at the time. All I knew was that I could build with him. I loved his business savviness. Of course, he was shocked when I told him I wanted in, but that’s what lead us to become “Lovepreneurs.”
How did your concept of ‘Lovepreneurs’ come about?
The concept of “Lovepreneur” emerged out of conflict. It was no easy task trying to merge two strong individuals. We realized that we needed support to succeed together. In our quest to learn and grow in the community of love and business, we fell short of finding that support group. We recognized that we weren’t the only couples having these challenges. In 2012, two years after Demetrius and I got married, we realized we had to take the initiative to build that community of love and business couples. We started with research and connecting with other couples. We’ve had hundreds of couples in our community where we’ve been able to follow their journey and gather case studies. Then it was more of an exclusive community for entrepreneurial couples. In 2016, we had our first “Love and Business: Is It Worth It” conference.
How do you balance work and personal life?
We believe in systems and principles that we both agree upon. Those principles help make this love and business dynamic work. One of our standards is “one vision, different positions.” We divide and conquer our roles based on our strengths and weaknesses. We live our ‘lovepreneurship’ as a realistic lifestyle, not a fad or a trend. We focus on our family and business goals. We exercise teamwork and practice healthy communication. We realize our time is our currency, so we make time management a priority. Although we have a lot on our plate raising a family, building businesses, and growing in our marriage, we realize that we cannot sacrifice our quality time and intimacy with each other.
What are your 5 key tips on how entrepreneurial couples can keep it professional amidst infidelity?
- Revisit your personal and relationship standards and make this season a teachable an trainable moment.
- Make counseling a lifestyle. Counseling will educate you further on your set standards for yourself personally and in your relationship.
- Find a village for accountability. Commitment lasts longer in community. Hence why over 88% of our ‘Lovepreneur’ members are still growing rich together.
- The couple must submit to the mission. The mission must be greater than your emotions, but never larger than your standards.
- You must forgive and let go. Forgiveness should be about the self and not about the other person. Forgiveness grants you the freedom to think and love freely.
- Healthy, productive, intentional communication with each other should be the standard to keep the relationship respectful and professional. Create small challenges for each other that cultivate change.
- Growth and change [doesn’t] happen just by what you say, but rather by what you do.
Is it fair to say that getting lost in business can play a role leading up to a couple experiencing infidelity?
There will be opportunities where there is no intimacy. If there is no intimacy in a specific area of the business or relationship, infidelity in some cases fills the vacancies within the relationship. If one partner is more ingrained in the business than the other, resentment and negative thoughts can begin to overpower your partner.
This is one of the reasons why we teach our “Lovepreneurs” how to combine their goals into ONE mission. That way, both partners are a part of the same vision which helps avoid DI-VISION. Both parties must be invested so that no one feels inadequate or lonely. Jealousy about success can make your partner feel left out. However, let’s be clear, infidelity and betrayal are actions done to fill a self-void or desire. That self-void stems from their past or an outside influence. Oftentimes, this type of behavior is deep-rooted from trauma that has never been addressed and carried into the current relationship. A lot of infidelities could be avoided if there is open communication and if both partners make it a priority.
What advice can you give for couples to rebuild their business and marriage after infidelity?
Create standards for your relationship. We created the “Lovepreneur” Grow Rich Devotional to help power couples establish standards in their love and business journey. After agreeing to those standards, you must forgive. Forgiveness must be an action, not just a promise. The offender must ask for forgiveness, show regret, and accept responsibility for their actions. The offender must be willing to pay the price for their infidelity and the offended will name the terms. The terms must promote change on both sides, trust, and healthy communication. The rebuilding season will not be easy. Nevertheless, in a community that helps promote commitment, the journey will be worth it. Some things turn out stronger than the original once it’s rebuilt.
What helps to re-establish trust?
- Not [being] a repeat offender
- Healthy communication