holiday, party, introvert, holiday, prepare, toastmasters
by Charlene Rhinehart

December 13, 2023

Introverts Can Survive Holiday Office Parties With These 4 Tips

Here are a few tips to help you avoid holiday party jitters and make some meaningful connections at your next office party.

Originally published Dec. 6, 2016

If you’re an extrovert, the thought of attending an office party probably leaves you beaming with excitement. What better way to celebrate the end of the year by making new friends and having fun over food and drinks? All you have to do is find the perfect holiday attire and you are ready to roll.

On the other hand, if you’re a shy introvert, you’re probably strategizing the best way to decline the party invitation. Being around large crowds of people can be overwhelming and draining—a party with you and your book in the comfort of your home would be much more appealing. But since it’s the end of the year, you’ve decided to make a social compromise, and you have constantly been telling yourself that this will be worth your time.

Breathe. All you have to do is prepare yourself and walk in with a purpose in order to make your time worthwhile. Here is what you can do to avoid holiday party jitters and make some meaningful connections at your next office party:

Prepare Yourself for the Social Experience

If you haven’t been out in a while, you don’t want your holiday party to be your first appearance back on the social scene. Build your social confidence by surrounding yourself with people who would be thrilled to meet you and converse with you.

Toastmasters is the perfect place to test your social skills in a safe learning environment. As a guest, you will have the chance to introduce yourself at the beginning of the meeting, and you will be able to participate in table topics during the meeting; tables topics is the extemporaneous speaking portion of the meeting that allows people who are not on the agenda to speak for 1-2 minutes on a topic designated by the table topics master. Don’t worry about your nerves getting the best of you. The smiles and positive reinforcement from the members of the club will provide you with the encouragement you need to reduce any social anxieties that try to creep inside of you. If you can handle this, you’ll be ready to engage with people at your next holiday party.

A Enjoy Alone Time Before the Party

Need alone time? Introverts typically need to recharge their energy with some quiet time before embarking on a social event. This is the perfect time to make an appointment for that Milk & Honey foot spa treatment. You’ve had your eyes on this type of pampering for months. Soaking your feet in a warm milk bath with honey-infused brown sugar crystals will not only soothe your feet, but it’ll also give you the chance to refuel your batteries before the holiday party, making you a happier and more effective networker.

Brainstorm Conversation Starters

The last thing you want to do is join a conversation and have absolutely nothing to say. Not everyone is the outgoing extrovert who can start a conversation with anyone on the spot. Do what works for you: just make sure to have purposeful, meaningful, and impactful conversations. Entering a conversation armed with potential small talk starters will make your evening a lot more pleasant. Need ideas? Think about the people who will be attending. Refresh your memory with stories about the people you already know. Remember details about their personal lives that could make a person light up with excitement.

Don’t know anyone? Well, don’t let that stop you from initiating conversation; this can actually be a conversation starter! Walk up to an open and friendly group of people (or one person if that’s a bit more comforting) and simply say, “Hi! I don’t know that many people here so I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m (insert name) and (insert something about you that would lead to a good conversation).” You can say, “I just traveled here from (location), I work for (insert), “I help people (insert).” You can ask others, “What brought you here tonight?” or “What’s your story?” Ask open-ended questions that will allow you to further engage with others.

Review Proper Dining Etiquette Procedures

You don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to yourself at the dining table by accidentally using your neighbor’s silverware or chowing down on your bread roll like it was a juicy hamburger. Here are a few basic dining etiquette rules to remember:

  • Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you arrive at the table.
  • Pay attention to the placement of all silverware, glasses, and plates around you. Eat to your left and drink to your right. Any food dish to your left is yours to grab, and the glass to your right is yours.
  • Wait for everyone to be served before you start eating.
  • When multiple utensils are by your plate, work from the outside in. Use the silverware farthest from your plate first; this is typically what you use for the salad. When you are finished with your meal, the knife and fork are placed side by side on the plate.

Try these tips and you won’t have to stress about your next holiday party. You’ll just have to find the perfect outfit and you’re ready to roll.

RELATED CONTENT: 5 Tips For Power Rapport-Building For Networking

Florida, Frederick Pierallini III, Jacksonville
by Sharelle B. McNair

December 12, 2023

Businessman Convicted Of Millionaire Wife’s 2019 Death Says It Was Result Of Self-Defense

Conviction and all... Andre McDonald is standing on victim-blaming.

Andre McDonald, the Air Force major convicted of manslaughter in the death of Andreen, his millionaire businesswoman wife, blames her for it, according to a “48 Hours” report.

He was convicted of manslaughter after pleading not guilty to the March 2019 murder in which Andreen McDonald vanished in San Antonio. Hundreds of people began to search for her, and her remains were found just six miles from the couple’s lavish home in a gated community.

Andre had told law enforcement that the last time he saw his wife was the night before as they argued about their lucrative assisted living business. He left the house to calm down, and when he returned, he thought Andreen McDonald was sleeping in their daughter’s bedroom.

He was arrested for her murder but stayed tight-lipped about what happened the night of her death. That was until Jan. 30, 2023, the fourth day of his trial, when he testified that their heated argument led to her death. Andre said he learned his wife and business partner had started another business a year earlier without him knowing.

“Basically, that meant to me, pretty much, that she was robbing me,” he testified. This time on the stand, he said that when he returned, Andreen was waiting for him in order to continue their argument. Things escalated. Divorce and the idea of splitting the business in half came up, which he said made Andreen angry.

Andre claimed the argument moved from verbal to physical when she attacked him. He said he was ducking her punches when suddenly Andreen fell. That’s when he kicked her twice.

“The second kick, I think I heard, like, some type of wheezing, you know, coming out of her,” Andre testified. “And then also, like, in the background, I could hear, like, some footsteps.” Those footsteps were those of the couple’s daughter, Alayna. He left Andreen on the floor, injured but alive, to put their little girl to bed.

When he returned 30 minutes later, she was dead.

According to the U.S. Sun, the defense team said Andre committed the crime in self-defense, explaining that he feared for his life since Andreen was a powerlifter, lifting close to 300 pounds. A jury didn’t buy it, however, and sentenced Andre to 20 years in prison.

Watch how the entire case unfolded on CBS’ “48 Hours,” above.

Black Business Leaders
by BLACK ENTERPRISE Editors

December 12, 2023

Former Black Special Ed Student Who Graduated With 1.8 GPA Is Now A Best-Selling Author, Therapist

Ronnie Sidney, II, who spent seven years in Special Ed and graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA, is now a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), therapist, best-selling author, and entrepreneur.

Ronnie Sidney, II, who spent seven years in Special Ed and graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA, is now a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), therapist, best-selling author, and entrepreneur. Despite being labeled as an African American student with learning disabilities, he also went on to earn a Bachelor of Science degree in Human Services at Old Dominion University in 2006. After that, he earned a Masters degree from Virginia Commonwealth University’s School of Social Work in 2014.

Now, Sidney is both a best-selling and award-winning author and entrepreneur. In 2015, he released an Amazon bestseller entitled Nelson Beats the Odds, a semiautobiographical comic book about a young man who struggles with the shame of being placed in special education. He also released another successful book entitled Tameka’s New Dress, which addresses topics like childhood trauma, parental substance abuse, kinship care, and bullying with a gentle touch suitable for even the youngest children.

For his work, in 2017, Old Dominion University honored Sidney with the prestigious Darden Award, an award given to Darden College of Education alums who have made outstanding achievements. In 2020, Virginia Commonwealth University featured Sidney in the Shafer Court Connections magazine, and he was one of 200 VCU Alumni featured in The Power Issue, which honored inspiring alums. 

Sidney’s early academic challenges ignited a passion within him to pursue social justice and to work with inner-city youth. All in all, he has spent more than 15 years in the mental health and academic counseling fields.

In addition to his professional and academic life, Sidney is a loving husband and father of four amazing children. He is also a member of several boards, including the advisory board for VCU’s Center on Transition Innovations (VCU-CTI), which provides evidence-based resources, information, and emerging practices in the field. He is also an active member of the Essex County Economic Development Authority and Essex Youth Football Association.

Be sure to follow him on @RonnieSidneyII

This story was first reported on blackbusiness.com

RELATED CONTENT: WHAT SPECIAL EDUCATION HAS TO DO WITH THE SCHOOL-TO-PRISON PIPELINE

HBCUs
by Derek Major

December 12, 2023

White House Awards $93M In Grants To HBCUs, MSIs, And Tribal Schools

The U.S. Department of Education announced $93 million in grant awards to 20 HBCUs, MSIs, and Tribal colleges and universities.

The U.S. Department of Education announced $93 million in grant awards to 20 colleges and universities to support research and development efforts for underserved students.

According to a DOE release, the grants will support Minority Serving Institutions (MSIs), Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs), and Tribally Controlled Colleges and Universities (TCCUs) and boost completion rates. 

The grants will be provided to the institutions under the Research and Development Infrastructure (RDI) program and the Postsecondary Student Success Grant (PSSG) program. The RDI program provides funds to HBCUs, TCCUs, and MSIs to overhaul research infrastructure, including strengthening research productivity, faculty expertise, physical infrastructure, and partnerships leading to increases in external funding. 

The PSSG program aims to equitably improve postsecondary student outcomes, including retention, transfer, credit accumulation, and completion, by leveraging data and implementing, scaling, and rigorously evaluating evidence-based approaches.

Since President Joe Biden took office, the grant funding has added to the more than $25 billion the Biden administration has provided to HBCUs, MSIs, and TCCUs.

“The Biden-Harris Administration recognizes the urgency of this moment in higher education and that creating opportunities for students of color and other underserved students to succeed in today’s most cutting-edge fields has never mattered more,” U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona said in a statement. “These grant awards will help many of our nation’s most inclusive and diverse colleges and universities expand their capacity to drive research and innovation and propel more students to graduation day and fulfilling careers. This is how we Raise the Bar for college excellence and attainment in this country and close equity gaps in higher education that have no place in the 21st century.”

RDI program grants will be given to five HBCUs and three MSIs to increase their level of research activity in alignment with the Carnegie Classification designations to move from the Doctoral and Professional Universities (D/PU) classification toward the Doctoral Universities with High Research Activity (R2) classification. Additionally, the grants will increase their classification from the Doctoral Universities with High Research Activity (R2) toward the Doctoral Universities with Very High Research Activity (R1) category.

Two TCCUs will use the grants to support increased research activities, undergraduate research opportunities, faculty development, research development, and infrastructure, including physical infrastructure and human capital development.

Schools receiving RDI program grants include Hampton University, Southern University, University of Maryland Eastern Shore, Texas Southern University, Tennessee State University, United Tribes Technical College, Blackfeet Community College, City College of New York, The University of Texas-Rio Grande Valley, and California State University, Fullerton. Schools receiving PSSG program grants include The University System of Maryland, Long Beach City College, Saint Peter’s University, California State University, Fullerton, Tulsa Community College, University of California, Berkeley, City College of New York, Colorado State University System, and Georgia State University.

Drake Turns Turks And Caicos Bartender Into Overnight Celebrity
by Rafael Pena

December 12, 2023

Drake Turns Turks And Caicos Bartender Into Overnight Celebrity

A recent getaway by Drake to Turks and Caicos inadvertently turned the spotlight on a local bartender named Flacka.

A recent getaway to Turks and Caicos by Drake has inadvertently turned the spotlight on a local bartender named Flacka, causing a surge in business for Noah’s Ark beach club, where she works. The rapper’s patronage of the establishment, coupled with his camaraderie with Flacka, has ignited social media, fueling speculation about a potential romance, as reported by Complex.

Flacka, an assistant manager and bartender at Noah’s Ark, has become a viral sensation, with videos and photos circulating on various social platforms capturing moments of her interaction with Drake. However, on Flacka’s earliest Instagram post, it’s apparent the two had crossed paths about a year ago, on Drake’s last trip to Turks and Caicos.

Phillip Misick, manager of Noah’s Ark, revealed to TMZ that the presence of Flacka with Drake has significantly boosted the club’s food and drink sales. The influx of customers eager to glimpse the rapper and witness Flacka’s charm has been so overwhelming that Misick has yet to quantify the exact impact on revenue.

Customers have openly admitted that they frequent the bar for the chance to see Drake and to witness Flacka in action. Misick disclosed to TMZ that the bartender is now receiving partnership offers from various brands seeking to capitalize on her newfound popularity on social media.

While Flacka continues attracting attention, Drake is preparing for his upcoming It’s All A Blur Tour: Big As The What? tour with J. Cole. The tour will kick off in Denver on Jan. 18 and traverse several U.S. cities before concluding in Birmingham, Alabama, on March 27.

Noah’s Ark is a beach club that hosts events for tourists and celebrities throughout the year. The club’s popularity has grown since Drake’s first visit, opening the door to more celebrity appearances, including DJ Khaled and Kevin Durant.

Questlove
by Rafael Pena

December 12, 2023

Questlove Lost 2 Teeth Producing Hip-Hop’s 50th Tribute At Grammys

Questlove shared the intense stress of producing Grammy tribute and how the pressure led to losing two teeth.

During an interview on Grammy.com on Dec. 7, Questlove shared the intense stress he experienced in planning the tribute to 50 years of hip-hop at the Grammy Awards, confessing that the pressure led to the loss of two teeth by the project’s conclusion.

Questlove, the multifaceted musician, author, and director, took the helm as curator, orchestrating a seamless collaboration between legendary figures like Grandmaster Flash and contemporary artists like Lil Uzi Vert. 

Initially hesitant, Questlove recognized the importance of seizing the opportunity to influence the course of hip-hop representation in the industry. Frustrated with being on the sidelines, he embraced the chance to be a catalyst for change, debunking the perception that he was merely a “suit.”

“The thing that really motivated me — Look, man, roll up your sleeves and run through this mud — was like, if there ever was going to be a hip-hop time capsule, a lot of the participants in this show are somewhere between the ages of 20 and 60, and everybody’s still kind of in their prime,” he told Grammy.com.

Reflecting on the magnitude of the stress, he said, “After the success of the thing that we did in March — that 12-minute revue thing — I’ll be honest with you, for 12 minutes, that was like going through damn near, and I’m not even using hyperbolic statements by saying, coming out within an inch of my life.”

After the momentous 12-minute performance concluded, Questlove found himself on an airplane heading back to New York, only to have two of his teeth unexpectedly fall out. The level of stress had reached such extremes that it became a visceral, physical manifestation.

Questlove described the surreal moment, saying, “That’s the level of stress I was [under]. Imagine landing in JFK, and I got to rush to ‘The Tonight Show,’ but then it’s like, Oh, wait, what’s happening? Oh God, no! My teeth are falling out! And going to emergency surgery. My whole takeaway was like: Never again.”

police car, sirens
by Rafael Pena

December 12, 2023

3 Officers Fired After Killing Black Man At His Home In Alabama

The city of Decatur, Alabama, has terminated three police officers in connection with the fatal shooting of a Black man outside his home.

The city of Decatur, Alabama, has terminated three police officers in connection with the fatal shooting of Steve Perkins outside his residence during a confrontation with a tow truck driver, according to The Associated Press. A fourth officer was suspended.

Mayor Tab Bowling announced the decision on Dec. 7 following personnel hearings. He refrained from disclosing the Alabama officers’ names or the specific reasons for their dismissal.

The city’s police chief previously said that the shooting violated departmental policies; an ongoing review by the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency will determine if criminal charges are warranted or if the officers acted within the bounds of the law.

The Sept. 29 shooting claimed the life of 39-year-old Steve Perkins when officers accompanied a tow truck driver attempting to repossess Perkins’ truck.

In a statement, the Perkins family acknowledged the dismissals as a “step in the right direction” but emphasized the need for further action. Nicholas Perkins, speaking on behalf of the family, expressed dissatisfaction, stating, “Three officers being fired and one being suspended is no comparison to Catrela losing her husband, me losing my brother, my mom losing her son, that’s not justified. We want these officers prosecuted.”

@shanna4351

#justiceforsteveperkins #nojusticenopeace #policethepolice #policebrutality #iamsteveperkins

♬ original sound – user3115665342804

The incident, captured on a neighbor’s home surveillance camera and published by WAFF-TV, showed the tow truck backing into the driveway as Perkins emerged from his house. Officers ran out shouting commands, and multiple shots were rapidly fired. The Perkins family disputes the initial police account, citing the neighbor’s video as evidence, and insists that Perkins’ truck payments were up to date.

Regular protests have ensued in Decatur, with demonstrators demanding answers and accountability.

Decatur Police Chief Todd Pinion issued a public apology in October for initially providing inaccurate information. He clarified that officers did not instruct Perkins to drop his weapon but instead told him to “get on the ground.” Pinion, along with the mayor, personally delivered the news of the dismissals to Perkins’ family and affirmed a commitment to preventing such incidents in the future, saying, “I have pledged to take action to ensure something like this never happens in Decatur again, and that process has begun in earnest.”

Illinois State University
by Cedric 'BIG CED' Thornton

December 12, 2023

Illinois State University Issues Apology After Fan Uses Racial Slur Against Norfolk State Basketball Player

"Illinois State has moved swiftly to investigate the report and will respond appropriately"

On Dec. 9, after a basketball game against Illinois State University, Norfolk State University basketball coach Robert Jones stated that one of his players was called a n**ger while he was playing on the basketball court during the game. That comment came from a fan sitting in the stands at Illinois State.

According to the university’s website, the school acknowledged that it took place, apologized to Norfolk State, and claimed it had started an investigation.

“The men’s basketball game on Saturday, December 9, 2023, between Illinois State and Norfolk State was regrettably marred by the report of a racial slur directed at a Norfolk State player by an Illinois State fan.

“The use of racial slurs and other offensive language targeting people for their identity is abhorrent and is not tolerated by Illinois State University. Among Illinois State’s core values are respect for others, diversity, and inclusion.

“Illinois State has moved swiftly to investigate the report and will respond appropriately. Illinois State University and Redbird Athletics extend sincere apologies to Norfolk State University, its student-athletes, and its athletics staff for the deep upset caused, and university leaders have personally reached out to colleagues at Norfolk State.”

According to ESPN, during the televised game, Norfolk State’s Jamarii Thomas was verbally assaulted with a racial epithet based on what the broadcast crew reported. As Jones walked toward the middle of the court, he had to be stopped by his players and a referee from approaching the fan. When that happened, Illinois State coach Ryan Pedon walked toward Jones and started yelling at the Norfolk State coach. The two coaches had to be separated, and the referees issued a technical on both men.

It was questioned why Pedon went to yell at Jones, and after the game, he said: “I was upset [Jones] was on the floor and I was raising hell with the referees. It was never personal towards him. I’ll take the high road on that. I’ll take the high road. But I’m a competitor, man. I’m Italian, so sometimes my emotions can get the best of me at times. Yeah, I don’t apologize for my competitive edge. That’s how I want our teams to play.”

The fans who caused the fracas were ejected.

Alabama, Montgomery, riverboat, #FadeInTheWater
by Cedric 'BIG CED' Thornton

December 12, 2023

Chair-Wielding Alabama Man Who Defended Dock Worker Being Attacked By White Boaters Avoids Jail Time

Reggie Bernard Ray, has agreed to complete 50 hours of community service and a 90-day suspended sentence after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct.

Earlier this summer, a brawl occurred at an Alabama waterfront in Montgomery went viral when a Black dock worker was filmed being attacked by white boaters after he asked them not to park a boat in a restricted area. Several Black people came to the defense of the older dock worker, including a man who came wielding a folding chair at the white attackers. After being caught on video, the man surrendered to police authorities several days later. Several months later, after entering a conditional guilty plea, he will not have to serve any jail time.

According to al.com, the man who swung that chair, Reggie Bernard Ray, has agreed to complete 50 hours of community service and a 90-day suspended sentence after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct. Montgomery Municipal Judge Milton Westry also stated that Ray has to pay $357 in court costs. He made the plea on Dec. 11.

The arresting officer said in deposition papers that body camera footage revealed that Ray hit a white man who was wearing shorts and no shirt a couple of times with a folding chair.

“Via body cam video footage seen (on Aug. 9, 2023), Ray can be seen striking a white male wearing gray shorts and no shirt with the white chair several times.”

The Associated Press reported that the incident took place in Alabama after people filmed several white boaters striking a Black riverboat co-captain after he asked them not to place their boat in a designated spot on the dock. After one of the attackers went after the dock worker, several Black crew members and bystanders came to his defense, including a young boy who jumped in the water and swam to defend the dock worker.

Four white boaters were charged for their role in the attack, and all of them pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges ranging from harassment to assault.

Black Americans, jos reports, unemployment
by Anthony Quinones

December 12, 2023

Before You Sit Down For An Interview Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

Having sharp interview skills is important whether you're looking for a job or talking to a prospective client. Here are questions to ask yourself beforehand.

Originally Published Dec. 25, 2020 

The COVID-19 pandemic changed everything about work as we know it—from the interview process to the actual work we do to where we do it. Some have become entrepreneurs via inspiration or necessity. While the process has changed, our hatred for the process remains the same. Whether you’re looking for a job or talking to a prospective client, you’ll need to learn how to interview to get that job or business.

Before you interview with anyone, there are five questions you need to ask yourself:

What are my skills?

You should take time to make a list of your skills. If you have a résumé, look at it and break down what you do. Then, look at your other interests, awards, and achievements. Ask others who know you well to make a list of your skills. Your combined list will give you the confidence to move forward. Knowing what you’re good at is very important to present yourself in the best light.

What’s my strength?

From your list of skills, pick just one strength. Choosing multiple strengths often leads to confusion and inaction. When you answer the question, “What is your strength?” you’re also asking, “Where do I start?”

You’ll probably need someone who knows you well to help you with this, too. Focusing on your strengths gives you clarity, simplicity, and direction. As one of my mentors, Andrew Morrison, always says, “Pick one thing.” Pick one strength and play to it.

Who is my audience?

Instead of assuming you know what your audience needs, you should ask what it wants. Create thought-provoking questions to get insight on how to serve your audience. Once you get the answer to these questions, you’ll be able to properly craft a message to serve them. You may find that your prospective audience may not be your audience. You may find other audiences you can serve in the process.

What’s my message?

What do you want to convey? What do you stand for? Clearly communicating your skills and your strengths is very important in your search. How you present your message depends on your audience’s wants. You must know this before you can craft your effective message. Before your interview, you must show your audience that you’ve done your research. Also, when you compose a message based on the answers of your audience, not just your intellect, your audience will appreciate it because it will show that you care.

How can I take away their pain?

Your solution should be a product of your skills and strength, communicating with your audience, and knowing what their pain points are. Without either, you’ll miss the mark. Most people make the mistake of communicating their message without knowing what the pain is. At the end of the day, it’s not about your brilliance. It’s about their pain and using your skills and strength to take away that pain.

These questions should be asked in order as each question feeds off the previous one. The first two deal with you. The second two deal with your audience. When you combine these, then and only then, can you provide your solution. Also, know your value. Make sure you put the proper value on your solution. If you don’t, someone else will. Whether you’re looking for a job, career, or business, answering these questions will prepare you for your interview. They will also give you the confidence to get what you want without compromising who you are.

RELATED CONTENT: Ohio Barber Helps The Houseless Get’ Interview Ready’ For Jobs With Free Haircuts

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